Wikipedia:Peer review/Toni Collette/archive1

Toni Collette

I've listed this article for peer review because… I feel it is worthy of featured article status. I would like to know if anyone else feels the same way and if not, could give me some suggestions on how to improve the page.

Thanks, MuchAdoA (talk) 08:22, 18 March 2020 (UTC)

• I suggest you get it to Good Article status first. It requires some work before going to WP:GAN, where it would be entered under Media and Drama – her music career is not as notable as her acting one. If you went straight to WP:FAC it is likely to be knocked back due to significant problems that need to be addressed.
• Problems I see include:

1. Over-wikilinked: remove links to common terms e.g. Sydney, World War II, musicals,
   1. After the Lead, de-link any terms already linked previously. e.g. Geoffrey Rush first linked time, outside the Lead, and de-link others.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:00, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
2. Overuse of name Collette.
3. Inaccuracies/omissions:
   1. Her birth name is no longer her non-performance name: it is her married name (hyphenated).
   2. Mother not named.
   3. Check all refs for: reliability; details on author name(s); provide access-date for on-line ones.
   4. Timespan of music career: any solo/band performances or recordings after 2007? Not including acting in musicals.
   5. Appearance on SBS' version of Who Do You Think You Are? Should be in filmography. It is alluded to, in Early life, but not directly cited for information regarding her heritage.
      • Her episode is still available on SBS OnDemand (requires log on by email address) for 50+ days.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:26, 22 March 2020 (UTC)
   6. She had theatre roles before Uncle Vanya. Try here.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:26, 22 March 2020 (UTC)20:53, 22 March 2020 (UTC)
   7. "she left school..." however NIDA is a "centre for education and training" i.e. a school for performing arts? So she didn't leave school but changed from a traditional one to a specialist one.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 11:22, 22 March 2020 (UTC) By the way, since the initialism, NIDA, is used later on: provide this just after the full form.20:53, 22 March 2020 (UTC)
   8. Why does her acting career section start with 1992? The content starts with 1990 TV work. She had theatre roles from at least May 1990 (see Ausstage ref above). Years active in infobox begins at 1990.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:53, 22 March 2020 (UTC)
   9. After Filmography there should be a listing of her stage roles.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:23, 26 March 2020 (UTC)
4. Consider WP:Lead; including:
   1. Avoid redundant citations.
   2. Avoid undue emphasis/over-detailed information, here: this is particularly seen in start of ¶2.
   3. Try to keep similar content in same ¶ and in chronological order.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 04:57, 21 March 2020 (UTC)
   4. Fix italics in ¶3.
   5. "own production company, Vocab Films": This phrase is not clear: does she work as a producer or does she own the company? Details should be in the main text with examples of their works, including RS.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 10:40, 21 March 2020 (UTC)
   6. Del "and composed": redundant.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:49, 21 March 2020 (UTC)
5. Infobox:
   1. Add other_names=Toni Collette-Galafassi
      • For a ref for the above, try <ref name="APRA Beautiful">{{cite web | url = http://apraamcos.com.au/search?searchtype=works&keywords=beautiful+awkward+pictures | title = Works Search: Title 'Beautiful Awkward Pictures' | publisher = [[APRA AMCOS]] | accessdate = 22 March 2020 }}</ref> Put the ref in Early years or Personal life.
   2. Use hlist template on alma maters. By the way, where is Australian Theatre for Young People mentioned and verified in main text?
   3. update image, move existing one to main text.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:47, 21 March 2020 (UTC)
6. For main text try to get ¶¶ to similar size: avoid overly long ones or short ones.
7. For main text provide timing of events, e.g. Uncle Vanya (August 1992).
8. Early life
   1. Some of the Lead info should be moved here.
   2. Reduce use of "Collett" when referring to the subject, e.g. replace "Collett's father" with "Bob".
   3. Context required on Godspell acting role. It was a high school performance (this is not obvious in the article). If known, which character did she portray?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:49, 21 March 2020 (UTC)
   4. Delink Whitney Houston immediately before the song's article; also check that song's title.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:06, 22 March 2020 (UTC)
   5. Check all " and ' throughout article, make sure they are of the same form (see MOS:CURLY). For any quotes check position of " at end: be consistent in the article for the punctuation (see MOS:LQ).shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:26, 22 March 2020 (UTC)20:50, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
   6. Article has "feigned" but the source has, "Collette says that she didn't fake the symptoms: 'I felt pain in my stomach, and it just kind of escalated. Obviously, I didn't understand what I was doing, I was 11.'" Thus, the term feigned is not supported – she was not faking, acting or performing.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 10:26, 22 March 2020 (UTC)
   7. Final ¶ here belongs to Personal life? It also makes relevance of first sentence there.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 11:22, 22 March 2020 (UTC)
9. Breakthrough and...
   1. Change subHead time-span to 1990–98 (see above for why its 1990).
   2. Uncle Vanya role is in same production as Geoffrey Rush? There's no follow up to the previous section where she was "deeply influenced" by him.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:53, 22 March 2020 (UTC)
   3. A contemporary review of Spotswood is available, here.
   4. "During her final year..." What year?
   5. Expand all contractions in main text (outside of quotes). e.g. didn't > did not
   6. Check hyphens vs dashes (throughout). e.g. films – the comedy-drama the first is a dash, the latter a hyphen.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 07:14, 23 March 2020 (UTC)
   7. Be specific, where possible, e.g. auditioned for the role > auditioned for the title role
   8. "were both critically panned"? Should the word "initially" be added in there?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 11:09, 23 March 2020 (UTC) You need ref(s) for "critically panned".shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:00, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
10. The Sixth Sense, ...
    1. SubHead title is too long. Possibly inaccurate: didn't she get "international recognition" with her performance as Muriel?
    2. 2nd & 3rd ¶¶ are significantly unequal in length.
    3. Ref(s) for "both negatively reviewed and box office failures."
11. Supporting roles and...
    1. Fix subHead time-span.
    2. Released in July 2006 > Released in July of that year
    3. Reword "with Robin Williams-featuring The Night Listener emerging"
    4. What year was United States of Tara broadcast?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:00, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
12. Focus on...
    1. Fix subHead time-span. Shorten length of title.
    2. Australian English (except when inside direct quotes), e.g. humour. Likewise fix in the fall of
    3. Grammar checks, e.g. project its insecurities
    4. Ref(s) for "none of these films were significantly successful, either critically or commercially"
    5. How is it "moderate commercial success", if it earns 4× its budget?
    6. Ref(s) for "lambasted by critics."shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 10:40, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
    7. Del "much" from "was much better received" Unnecessary.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:50, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
13. Mainstream...
    1. Lead-in sentence requires a ref for "many critics conidered"
    2. Add producer to infobox occupations?
    3. All direct quotes need a ref.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 20:50, 24 March 2020 (UTC)
14. Music career
    1. Split overly large ¶¶
    2. the band produced their reword to avoid misinterpretation.
    3. Discogs is not a reliable source: information is user supplied. A better ref is required for band formation, history and discography.
    4. Any performances or recordings issued after 2007? Is the music career effectively over (includes indefinite hiatus)?
15. Humanitarian work
    1. Reduce size of ¶1
    2. Check: Doctors Without Borders (not Border)
    3. Why is Amnesty International piped to itself?
    4. Remove quote marks from OzHarvest.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:19, 25 March 2020 (UTC)
16. Artistry
    1. ¶2 is too long.
    2. Fix 2nd sentence of 1st¶.
    3. Del "often" from She often prefers working in
    4. In what way has Rush influenced her artistry?
    5. ¶3 only on Kingston's analysis? Alternate opinions needed for balanced view.
17. Personal life
    1. As indicated earlier. The lead-in sentence is provided without context. Some info from Lead ¶2 could be moved here.
    2. Divide ¶ into two.
    3. When did she date Rhys-Meyers?
    4. When did she meet future spouse?
    5. Trim She has said that she is an avid e.g. She is an avid
18. Filmography
    1. After notes column, there should be a Ref. column with each entry cited by reliable source.
19. Discography
    1. They issued singles – at least one, charted.
    2. Label(s), catalogue no., full release date for album.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:23, 26 March 2020 (UTC)
20. References
    1. Del |30em It interferes with some text readers or mobile phone displays.
    2. Check format of all refs: use correct cite template, provide authors & wikilink (if article exists) first time mentioned in refs, provide work or publisher & wikilink first time mentioned, provide accessdate for online sources.
    3. Check that sources are reliable, independent and suitably acknowledged. It the ref shows incorrect information but is otherwise reliable the incorrect part should be noted. e.g. Note: this sources has birth name as Antonia Collette, which is incorrect.
    4. Where possible use archive-url for online sources to reduce the effect of link rot.
    5. Signal any access restrictions, such as Subscription required.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 11:17, 26 March 2020 (UTC)

Finished my review

I've finished my review. I attempted to make improvement to the article in line with my advice above.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 12:11, 16 April 2020 (UTC)