Wikipedia:Peer review/The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest/archive4
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
Just finished a hardcopy revision and am itching to get this to FA at last. This article just needs some fresh eyes to copyedit it. It's rather long, but also rather polished after three years of nominations and revision, so it shouldn't be too bad. My only future plan is to add a public domain image of one of the writers pending his permission. I will copyedit any one article for each of the first FIVE volunteers to review this one. And I'll really give the old college try, too. I realize this is asking for a lot of work, but I've got a lot of free time and have to absolutely assure Real Adventures is FA-quality while I've got the time to go through the nomination process. So give it a look, and I'll give your article a serious look, too! ZeaLitY [ Talk - Activity ] 05:50, 26 May 2010 (UTC)
- Comments by David Fuchs
- I think off the bat the article assumes a little too much familiarity with the series. Ex: "...revival of the 1960s Jonny Quest franchise, it featured Jonny and Hadji as teenage protagonists and a new character, Race Bannon's daughter, Jessie.[1] The creators staged the show around Dr. Quest's investigations of strange phenomena, legends, and mysteries in exotic locales." Who is Race Bannon? Who is Dr. Quest? I think a sentence starting off describing the basic premise of the show before the characters might help.
- "One team finished the previous team's work, and the other wrote new episodes with reworked character designs akin to classic Quest's. Each team produced half of fifty-two episodes.[6] The first team crafted stories of real-world mystery and exploration; later writers used science fiction and paranormal plots.[6]" Way too many instances of "team" here, and it's also a bit confusing because the first creative team is fired, new producers are brought in, and then we're suddenly back to discussing teams.
- While you might be able to write a more compelling rationale for the first cast image, I don't see much need for File:Trajq-withoutatrace.png.
- Some content in the lead is not found in the article (VHS and laserdisc releases, for example.)
--Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 19:53, 28 May 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks; good calls. I'll implement these tomorrow and try to improve clarity. Do you think I could get away with one picture merged from the original two for the character section? I've seen some other FICT articles do that, but I know nothing about whether it's accepted, etc. If there's any article I can help out with for you (even as a favor to someone else), I'd be more than willing. ZeaLitY [ Talk - Activity ] 08:11, 30 May 2010 (UTC)
- I've got nothing right now that needs attention, but I'm sure I'll call in that marker at some point :P As to the image, if you merged them together, it's still two pieces of non-free content (now in one image), so it doesn't really help it pass WP:NFCC any more than what's currently there. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs(talk) 13:43, 31 May 2010 (UTC)