Wikipedia:Peer review/The Joy of Sect/archive1

The Joy of Sect

"The Joy of Sect" was listed as a WP:GA just recently on October 27, 2007. This is part of a Featured Topic drive, for The Simpsons (season 9), with participants collaborating together very nicely. See Wikipedia:WikiProject The Simpsons/Featured topic Drive for more info. We would appreciate any suggestions you may have towards getting this article up to WP:FA status. Thanks for your time. Curt Wilhelm VonSavage 12:27, 31 October 2007 (UTC)[reply]

A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for minor issues of grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR _t 02:51, 1 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks. I will try to address these points, and as I do I will copy each one here and comment on it. Curt Wilhelm VonSavage 03:29, 1 November 2007 (UTC).[reply]

Addressing points from semi-automated review

Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.^[?] - Done - The lead actually had been longer, and was then shortened which I guess is per the norm for other WP:FA class The Simpsons articles. As I am not familiar with the process of getting other Simpsons articles to FA status, I am waiting for more feedback on this before trying to add more to the lead. Curt Wilhelm VonSavage 09:59, 1 November 2007 (UTC). -- Update: I took a portion of a previously longer lead, then shortened it considerably, and added it back into the article. Curt Wilhelm VonSavage 03:23, 2 November 2007 (UTC).[reply]
Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006.^[?] - Done - I just went and checked, and the only places where this is not done is inside a couple in-line citations themselves, but not within the article's text. Curt Wilhelm VonSavage 09:54, 1 November 2007 (UTC).[reply]
Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.) While additive terms like “also”, “in addition”, “additionally”, “moreover”, and “furthermore” may sometimes be useful, overusing them when they aren't necessary can instead detract from the brilliancy of the article. This article has 12 additive terms, a bit too much. - Done - I went through the article and removed some redudancies, as suggested. (7) superfluous instances of the word "also" were removed. This was a helpful suggestion. Curt Wilhelm VonSavage 10:06, 1 November 2007 (UTC).[reply]
The script has spotted the following contractions: Can't, Can't, if these are outside of quotations, they should be expanded. - Done - I checked, the script is incorrect here, because this is the name of a book: I Can't Believe It's a Bigger and Better Updated Unofficial Simpsons Guide. Curt Wilhelm VonSavage 09:56, 1 November 2007 (UTC).[reply]
Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.^[?] - This is, of course, something we should always work towards, and I will make sure the article is read through by a few different people before moving on to WP:FAC at some point. Curt Wilhelm VonSavage 09:57, 1 November 2007 (UTC). Done - Went through and copyedited the article, along with help from others, see discussion at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject The Simpsons/Featured topic Drive. Curt Wilhelm VonSavage 05:32, 2 November 2007 (UTC).[reply]

What were the several elements that had to be changed, following the real-life mass suicide? Alientraveller 11:23, 2 November 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- I don't know if they said that, in particular, in the commentary. I no longer have the DVD, so you'd have to ask at the talk page for Wikipedia:WikiProject The Simpsons/Featured topic Drive. Curt Wilhelm VonSavage 11:24, 2 November 2007 (UTC).[reply]