Wikipedia:Peer review/Sweet Dreams (Beyoncé Knowles song)/archive3
| Toolbox |
|---|
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it is my favorite Beyonce-song and i want to take it to FAC in December 2011. Please, i want someone familiar with issues often raised at FAC and especially someone who will help me better the prose considerably to FA standard.
Thanks, ★Jivesh 1205★ (talk / ♫♫Give 4 a try!!!♫♫) 15:52, 22 September 2011 (UTC)
- Comments by Bradley0110
To "better the prose considerably to FA standard" you should contact someone at WP:GOCE.
- ""Sweet Dreams" was critically lauded, with critics" Can there be some variation here to avoid "critcally" and "critics" in such close proximity?
- In Critical reception, you refer to an organisation called "BBC UK", which doesn't exist. I'm also pretty sure that Vicki (whose full name Vicki Lutas should be used in the author field of the reference) is a woman, not a man, and the work "The Chart Blog" should be incorporated into the reference.
- "As a concluding sentence, he said that[...]" How about simply "In conclusion" or "concluding"? It cuts down on unnecessary word count without losing meaning.
- How does Ref 92 support "At the final of a show of her I Am... Tour on November 2009, Knowles sang the full version of "Sweet Dreams" on the B-Stage for the first time, instead of a snippet or an acoustic version."?
- Last paragraph of Live Performances section refers to "BBC’s Radio 1"; the station is called BBC Radio 1.
- I can't see how any of the Shaq O'Neal stuff is relevant to helping a reader understand the topic of the article, even if it "was covered by both Billboard magazine and Popeater among others." Neither of the references support that the "issue" was covered by other publications.
- Check refs for consistency; Ref 30 uses Hearst Corp as the corporate publisher of the Houston Chronicle and Ref 31 uses Jack Sweeney as the named publisher. Check also for repeated wikilinks.
Bradley0110 (talk) 09:34, 16 October 2011 (UTC)
- That's all??? Thanks anyways. ★Jivesh 1205★ (talk / ♫♫Give 4 a try!!!♫♫) 04:47, 21 October 2011 (UTC)