Wikipedia:Peer review/Stephen Crane/archive2

Stephen Crane

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for October 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I'm hoping to nominate this article for FAC in a month's time. Since the last review (closed August 11), I have added several new images (all free) and I have completed the "Fiction and poetry" section. Several other changes have taken place in the lead and "Legacy" section. I am interested in knowing if the article is comprehensive, well written, and (of course) FA material. All comments and suggestions are welcome and would be much appreciated. Thanks! María (habla conmigo) 19:17, 3 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC. The sourcing looks good.

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 13:57, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: This looks really good, but here are some nit picky suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

At FAC the use of "Today" might be problematic in Today, he is recognized as being one of the most innovative writers of his generation. Perhaps in the 21st century or something similar? Ditto for "now" in The novel is now considered an American classic.

Reworded both.

"Omnipotent"?? is this really the word meant in At the time of his death, Crane had become an omnipotent figure in American literature.

Yeah, it's a bit much. Changed to "important".

Should it be made clearer that the quote is (apparently?) from Crane himself in From the beginning of his writing career, Crane's "chiefest desire was to write plainly and unmistakably, so that all men (and some women) might read and understand. That to my mind is good writing."[36]?

Oo, good catch; reworded to make it clear that it is indeed a quote from Crane.

I think Badenweiler is best described as being on the edge of the Balck Forest On May 28, Stephen and Cora arrived at Badenweiler, Germany, a health spa near the Black Forest.

Changed.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:22, 12 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the helpful comments! If you notice anything else, don't hesitate mentioning it. The more eyes the better. :) María (habla conmigo) 15:04, 12 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Awadewit comments - Sorry it has taken me so long to get to this! It was a pleasure to read, however. I just here, drinking my Dr. Pepper, going "why didn't I have my class read Maggie"? :) Next semester, I think! Then I refer them to this wonderful article!

Ahh! The pressure! :) María (habla conmigo) 13:17, 14 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

One of the most important events in Crane's life involved meeting Hamlin Garland in 1891. - I don't think the article really explains why this event was so important.

Added "the older author would later serve as an influential adviser and mentor".

These themes, which are particularly evident in Crane's first three novels, Maggie: A Girl of the Streets The Red Badge of Courage and George's Mother, include ideals versus realities, spiritual crises and fear, which involves courage, cowardice and conflict of war - I think this can be expressed better.

Agreed; changed to: "Crane's work is often thematically driven by Naturalistic and Realistic concerns, including ideals versus realities, spiritual crises and fear. These themes are particularly evident in Crane's first three novels, Maggie: A Girl of the Streets The Red Badge of Courage and George's Mother."

Regarding the theme of fear and the dichotomy of courage and cowardice, this is clearly represented in The Red Badge of Courage in which the main character, Henry Fleming, longs for the heroics of battle but ultimately fears it. There is therefore the threat of death, misery and the loss of self - Oof - so wordy! - What about something like - "In The Red Badge of Courge, the main character both longs for the heroics of battle but ultimate fears it, demonstrate the dichotomy of courage and cowardice. He undergoes the the threat of death, misery, and a loss of self."

Nice, like it; changed (with fixed typos :)

Extreme isolation from society and community is also a heavily utilized theme in Crane's work. - "heavily utilized" is vague

Changed to "apparent".

After the success of The Red Badge of Courage, Crane chose to write another tale set in the Bowery. George's Mother is less allegorical and more personal than his two previous novels - This suggests that Red Badge is allegorical as well as Naturalistic, however only the Naturalism is emphasized above. Perhaps this tension could be explained a bit to the reader?

Added example of allegory in Red Badge.

The "Short fiction" section has definitely been short-changed. "The Open Boat" is one of the most-anthologized and discussed short stories of American literature. Surely we could say a little more about Crane's short stories here than merely their topics and that a few of them are famous? Let's give students something to plagiarize! :)

Fleshed out, added information about collections, recognition or lack thereof, etc. Hope that covers it...

Crane also differed from his peers and poets of later generations in that he heavily used allegory, dialectic and narrative situations - "heavily used"? - I think we need to ban the word "use" from this article!

Nooo! Okay, changed to "in that his work contains".

WP:MOSQUOTE - Check that phrases have punctuation outside the quotation marks and full sentences have punctuation inside the quotation marks, etc.

WP:MOSNUM - There seems to be some inconsistency in the way that ages are written - some are spelled out and some are not.

Image:SCrane2.JPG - This doesn't have a source (note the weblink sources the image to Commons and the original image doesn't have enough information - "1900 magazine").

I asked the original uploader, and received no response; tried to be sneaky, and failed. That's it! Scanned and uploaded the (much cleaner) version from Davis' book, citing her as a source.

Image:Redbadgecover.jpg - How do we know this is the first edition, again? I don't think we established that at the last peer review. Note that the linked source doesn't explicitly state that.

I emailed the Stephen Crane Society with the hopes that they will have an answer. Until then, I've replaced it with a fine battle-esque image that Crane would have approved of (from the battle that supposedly influenced Red Badge): Image:Battle of Chancellorsville.png

Image:Heminguey.jpg - A Russian site? Hm. We need someone to check this out.

Switched to Image:ErnestHemingway.jpg, which seems more credible.

I'd say after a few improvements to the "Short fiction" section and some image detective work, this will sail right on through FAC. Accolades will rain down on you! Awadewit (talk) 18:33, 13 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much to the second power, Awadewit! I think I'm nearly done... María (habla conmigo) 15:29, 14 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]