Wikipedia:Peer review/Spice Girls/archive2
Second request. Tell us anything that needs to be improved on the article. --Winnermario 01:36, 13 October 2005 (UTC)
- I did it for you, but next time archive the old request instead of blanking it. It's at Wikipedia:Peer review/Spice Girls/archive1. -Greg Asche (talk) 01:44, 13 October 2005 (UTC)
- Section titles: Some problems, especially with the very-similar-sounding In the beginning and Birth of Spice. More clear, less cute?
- "...it is claimed that they are the biggest-selling girl group of all time, with reported sales of over forty-five million albums and thirty million singles." Should be able to pin that down to a specific authoritative source and lose "claimed" and "reported" weasel-words.
- In the beginning: The writing in this section often sounds non-encyclopedic and like it was written from the point of view of someone in the room with the band. Example: "Things became tough when many arguments broke out, and the tension was only increased by promises of a record contract that never seemed to materialise". It needs to be established how we know this information. If it is based on specific quotes, use them.
- "In 1996 they changed their name to 'Spice Girls'..." Maybe I missed it. What did they change their name from?
- You missed it. "Touch". --Winnermario 15:43, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
- So I did. Sorry :-) Bunchofgrapes (talk) 20:10, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
- You missed it. "Touch". --Winnermario 15:43, 15 October 2005 (UTC)
- Birth of Spice: Consider shorter sentences. Some of these long multi-clause sentences are a headscratcher to untangle.
- Five become four: "This was a shock and Geri was extremely frustrated, and only added to her desires of leaving the group." How do we know it was a shock, and she felt frustrated? Similar to the writing problems in the In the beginning section.
- Career records and achievements: I don't like sections like these ("lists of trivia") and would prefer to see the information in the appropriate sections.