Wikipedia:Peer review/Rugby union laws/archive1

Rugby union laws

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I've listed this article for peer review because in a week the 2011 Rugby World Cup starts and I am hoping some people new to the game will come onto Wikipedia looking for more information. This article is supposed to focus on the laws and I would like some input from editors not familiar with rugby union to offer advice on making it more accessible for everyone. I am currently working on one that will focus on gameplay to complement this one.

Thanks, AIRcorn (talk) 06:58, 4 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: I know very little about this sport, so I hope that makes me a useful reviewer. Thanks for your work on the rugby union articles, here are some suggestions for improvement.

A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. I could not find a FA on a sport's laws / rules, but there are 6 FAs on rugby union: Crusaders (rugby union), England national rugby union team, France national rugby union team, New Zealand national rugby union team, Rugby World Cup, and Wales national rugby union team so there are lots of FAs where you can look at how people write about rugby.
Toolbox on this PR page finds one dead external link
The lead image is not great - too dark hard to see - imagine there are many rugby goals that could be photographed on a sunny day....
MOS says not to both bold and link a term in the lead.
The article has a lot of typos and rough spots that need to be polished. For example in just the lead, this sentence has an unclear antecedent The objective is to score more points than the opposition through tries and goals. Since the previous two sentences were about the laws, shouldn't it be made clearer that this is about the sport's objective?
Missing apostrophe A try is scored when a team grounds the ball in the opposition[']s in-goal. and in The ball has changed too, going from a pig[']s bladder to a rubber bladder
Avoid needless repetition, use hyphens as needed A conversion is then attempted by ~~kicking a goal by~~ either place[-] or drop[-]kicking the ball between the H[-]shaped goal posts and above the crossbar
Provide context to the reader _ see WP:PCR - for someone who does not know rugby grew out of football, this is confusing The rules of early football games were agreed upon before the start of the match, with the first known written set appearing in 1845.
MOS says to us "double quotes" not 'single quotes' so fix things like Rugby clubs broke away from The Football Association in 1863 after they left out rules for 'running with the ball' and 'hacking'.
Not a very grammatical sentence - clauses do not have parallel construction, tenses are not consistent, and the meaning is not super clear The point value for tries increasing from zero to five, penalties increasing to three, drop goals dropped to three and the goal from mark has been done away with.
MOS says to give Englsih units (feet or yards) in addition to meters - the {{convert}} template does this well
My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but the Variations do not seem to be in the lead
This is just prose and MOS issues in the lead - this needs a lot of work and a copy edit.
Article needs more references, for example the whole Objective section and the first paragraph of History have no refs.
My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
Since this is the English Wikipedia, File:RugbyPitchMetricDetailed.svg which is labeled in a forein language using the Cyrillic alphabet, should be updated to an English version
WHy is there a page number in the general book ref : International Rugby Board (2011). Laws of the game: Rugby Union. International Rugby Board. pp. 189. ISBN 978-1-907506-09-3.
Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:07, 25 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]