Wikipedia:Peer review/Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute/archive2
| Toolbox |
|---|
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
As far as I can tell, this article hasn't be reviewed in over four years by anybody!
Thanks, Besselfunctions (talk) 23:45, 16 March 2014 (UTC)
Comments from EricEnfermero
Just a few comments from the first few sections:
- In the lead, some of the larger numbers are awkward as words.
- Do we need to add III to van Rensselaer's name since I, II, and III all appear to be notable people?
- In the history section I would specify what role (congressman I think) van Rensselaer held when he organized the school.
- "The fact that the school..." - might start that sentence with "Eaton's reputation allowed the school to..."
- "strongly resembled a graduate school more..." - I think you can get rid of strongly.
- First sentence under Since 1900: move "for the fourth time" to the end of the clause.
- Under Campus, I would clarify "gradually moved to the hilltop".
- Under Postwar expansion, get rid of "interestingly". The last sentence there is also pretty long.
Good luck! May come back and try to leave more. EricEnfermero HOWDY! 08:47, 27 March 2014 (UTC)