Wikipedia:Peer review/Poses (album)/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to put the article through the Featured Articles process. Before doing so, I'd like feedback to improve the article--spelling, punctuation, grammar, content, context, etc. Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks so much! Another Believer (Talk) 00:20, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article - while I do not write music articles, I have peer reviewed a fair number of them and this seems to be missing some information (or at least have it presented differently) than most album FAs I have seen. Anyways, here are some suggestions for improvement.
- A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. While there is one Rufus Wainwright album FA (Rufus Does Judy at Carnegie Hall), it is also a live album and so may not be the best model. There are a lot of album FAs at Wikipedia:Featured_articles#Music - I think Kid A is well done and Love. Angel. Music. Baby. and Niandra Lades and Usually Just a T-Shirt are both FAs on albums by solo artists and may be good models.
- Thanks for the suggestion. I wrote the Rufus Does Judy at Carnegie Hall album, which is different than many other FA album articles because it is a live recording. I will certainly look at other articles to use as examples.
- My bad - I peer reviewed that too, but thought it was by another user (wait, your user name changed, OK, now I get it ;-) ). Ruhrfisch ><>°° 19:17, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
- Looking at the models and this article, there should be much more on the writing and recording process.
- There are several places where it would help to provide context to the reader - for example, when did he stay at the Chelsea (dates)? When was the album actually recorded?
- Or this sentence in the lead needs to make clearer what the comparisons are being made to / with With fewer operatic elements in an attempt to create a more radio-friendly pop record, the album addresses debauchery and love in less esoteric means. (presumably his debut album)
- The order of several sections also seems to be different than most album articles - it seems like listy things (track listing, personnel) usually come at the end of the article, not in the middle.
- The article has a lot of short (one or two sentence) paragraphs that should be combined with others to improve flow, or perhaps expanded. Look at the Stefani article (model) for a treatment of songes (there are several songs in a paragraph there).
- The MOS says block quotes should be four lines long or more. The block quote in Development is one line plus a single word on the second line on my monitor.
- The reissue of the album is mentioned once - when was it? Why was it reissued?
- Ah, yes. Thank you for the reminder.
- Watch for typos - the lead says the song by his father is One man guy, but later it is written as "One may guy"
- Done.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 15:17, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
- Thank you so much for your suggestions and comments. I appreciate your feedback, and look forward to improving the article based on your recommendations. --Another Believer (Talk) 19:18, 20 May 2009 (UTC)