Wikipedia:Peer review/Naruto Uzumaki/archive1

Naruto Uzumaki

I've listed this article for peer review because this article could possibly be promoted to FA. It is currently a GA from the help of Tintor2. I have done things on my part by fixing references that were no longer working, and fixing the layout. A lot of information about the character has been added since then, and I think it's time. Thanks, MCMLXXXIX 14:57, 5 February 2017 (UTC)

Comments by Tintor2

• I still don't have much experience with FAs, but there are somethings a FA should have
• Every reference should wikilinked no matter if you repeated (add author link, links to the series, publisher link, etc.)
• All sources have to archived. There are three archive sites I always use: www.webcitation.org, https://archive.is/ and http://archive.org/web/
• Considering I made it GA, I'm pretty sure it needs some copyedits. FA reviewers tend to prefer better translations.
• Is it possible to add more information about Naruto's English actress? It might balance the voice actors section.
• Lastly, try trimming all in-universe section. Good luck with the article.
  

Tintor2 (talk) 23:35, 5 February 2017 (UTC)

@Tintor2:  Done I plan to archive the sources some other time. Plus, due to how the cite templates are, I'm unable to wikilink the author. MCMLXXXIX 03:12, 16 February 2017 (UTC)

Comments from Aoba47

• As I suggested for the Allen Walker peer review, I would suggest beginning with the "Creation and conception" section and either moving the "Description" section directly after this or making it a subsection in the "Appearances" section.
• The image in the Infobox needs an ALT description. Make sure that all of the images used in the article have ALT descriptions.
• Remember to fill out all of the information in the Media data and Non-free use rationale for the image used in the "Creation and conception" section. Same applies to all of the non-free images as you want this completed before pursuing a FAC. I could see some users taking issue with the amount of non-free images used in this article so you want to make sure the rationale is complete and fully explains the need for these images.
• I agree that more information about Naruto's English voice actor would be beneficial. If this information is not available, then it is fine as it currently stands.
• Introduce Kishimoto by his full name when you first introduce him in the body of the article.
• Avoid shouting in the reference titles (Words should not be in caps in the reference titles). Examples include Reference 115 and 111.
• I would recommend breaking up the "Reception" section with two smaller "subsections" as done in Allen Walker. I would use a "Popularity" subsection for the first paragraph and a "Critical reception" subsection for the rest to make the information clearer and more readable.
• While I did not notice anything out of the ordinary in my first read-through, I always advise to read through everything for anything awkward moments in the prose as that is heavily judged in the FAC process.
• I do not have that much of an issue with the "In Naruto" subsection as my in-universe summary sections can get quite long too, but I would advise reading through this and tightening prose to better prepare it for the FAC process.
• I do not know what the following sentence means: Naruto's growth across the series surprised the author due to how the acknowledgement he receives from other characters allows the character even further. How was the author surprised by the character's growth when he was the one writing the story? Is he referring to his physical growth or his emotional growth as well? What does mean by acknowledgement (are you referring to the character getting acknowledgement or the author)? The repetition of the word character in such close proximity is also less than ideal.
• I think the phrase "a real ninja" would be better than "a realistic ninja".
• Be careful with overusing quotes as you only want to use them when the wording is absolutely necessary and paraphrasing is highly encouraged. For instance, I do not believe you really need to quote "pop" in the "Creation and conception" section.
• I have never seen anything related to Naruto so I cannot comment on the content of the "Appearances" section, but just make sure that everything is presented factually there.

@1989: These are the first things that I noticed while reading through it. I can provide more comments if you would like, but I did not want to overwhelm you. Overall, the article is in good shape and just requires some more work before it is ready for the FAC phase. Let me know when you do put this up for FAC as I would be more than happy to help out there as well. Aoba47 (talk) 18:09, 6 February 2017 (UTC)

@Aoba47:  Done Just a note, for the first bullet point, I moved the section to the lead. Let me know if there are any more issues. -- MCMLXXXIX 00:39, 7 February 2017 (UTC)

• @Aoba47: I need all of the advice I can get. If you find any more issues, please address them. Thanks. -- MCMLXXXIX 21:24, 6 February 2017 (UTC)
  • Of course, I will put up more comments later this week if that is okay with you. Aoba47 (talk) 21:32, 6 February 2017 (UTC)

Comments from DragonZero

I'm concerned about some of the fact checking here. I decided to do a random fact check and found this... "his Nine-Tailed Demon Fox form and during the fight against Sasuke" Clarity, which fight, etc. I believe the article is referring to the fight where Naruto and Sasuke splits up, but the source is refering to the film Naruto Shippuden Bonds. Where did the "due to the suffering Naruto was going through" come from? Aside from this, the lead spends too much time summarizing the character's appearance and transformations. I suggest improving the concision of the plot summary. DragonZero (Talk · Contribs) 10:31, 11 February 2017 (UTC)

@DragonZero:  Done I removed the whole sentence, I moved parts of the lead to a new section, and improved the conclusion paragraph. Just a note, the article has been copyedited. MCMLXXXIX 23:52, 15 February 2017 (UTC)

Closing note: @Tintor2, Aoba47, and DragonZero: I opened an FA nomination for this article. If you have further comments, please do it there. Thanks. MCMLXXXIX 02:05, 18 February 2017 (UTC)

Good luck with the FAC. I will review the article and provide my comments as soon as I can. Aoba47 (talk) 02:07, 18 February 2017 (UTC)