Wikipedia:Peer review/Melanistic mask/archive1

Melanistic mask

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This article is very short, at 400-and-some words; however, I believe I've refined it quite a bit since I gave it a rudimentary rewrite and would like to nominate it for GA status. I've used the highest-quality sources available and have spent quite a bit of time checking its accuracy and expanding descriptions and explanations.

I'd like feedback concerning the content in this particular case, though stylistic suggestions would be welcomed too. (Should add alt text!) Would a section detailing the various breeds that have masking as a fixed or variable trait be worth including?

Thanks, Anna ^talk 23:32, 10 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for working in this interesting article. Unfortunatley it left me with more questions than it answered. Here are some suggestions for improvement.

A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow. I am not sure what would be a useful model here. Wikipedia:WikiProject Dogs has a number of FAs and GAs, but none are really about a trait like this. I also looked at the Genetics FAs at Category:FA-Class MCB articles - perhaps something there might help.
The lead needs to be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way, but there is not really any mention of the genetics in the lead. Please see WP:LEAD
The lead as it currently stands is somewhat technical and could be more accessible for the average reader.
GA criteria include broad coverage of the topic - here are questions I was left with
Is the melanistic mask only when the dog's face is black or one of the related colors? (Lots of mention of pheomelanin, but I think this is not associated with the mask)
What about dogs that are black all over already? When I looked at the border collie puppy photo, most of its body fur is black, so how can you tell it has a mask (as opposed to a balck face to go with its black body and neck)?
Do all pugs have such a mask or just some? If a bnreed has it, do all members of the breed have it?
Is there any idea why some breeds have it and others do not (or are there any wild canids that have this mask)?
Many dogs have black noses (skin color, not fur). Is that related?
Any ideas or theories as to why this arises? Any proposed evolutionary advantages (or is it just a mutation that was then bred for intentionally)?
Any sort of history? Who gave it the name? When was it first noted / described? When did the genetic work occur?
Needs a ref in those areas will be colored by eumelanin instead of pheomelanin pigment, making it look as though the dog has a mask on its face. Eumelanin is usually black, but may instead be liver (also known as chocolate; dark brown), blue (also known as slate; dark grey), or isabella (also known as lilac; light grey-brown); accordingly, a mask may be any of these colors. Pheomelanin occurs in shades of red ranging from ivory to mahogany, which include cream, gold, and tan.
What makes Sue Ann Bowling a WP:RS - the web page cites no sources that I could see (did not read it all)
Many of the captions could be expanded and added as text
Try to provide context to the reader - see WP:PCR
Not much more to say as it is so short.
Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:38, 20 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, Ruhrfisch. I suspected it would be confusing to those not already familiar with the material so this is very helpful. Good points mentioned and I'll work to improve everything. Few comments:

"Melanistic mask" simply refers to melanin pigment and the appearance of the trait. I can trawl individual breed histories to see if/why it was considered desirable.
I'll add a section about breeds to clarify why it always occurs in some but only sometimes in others. That's the "fixed/variable trait" section I mentioned in my comments above.
BC puppy's tan cheeks are "covered" in front by the mask, which is how you can tell. Compare it, for example, to this BC. I'll insert something about that.
Not sure what you mean about black noses. Eumelanin is what colors the nose and flesh -- will add that -- and is often produced in the coat as well, and it is usually black as the article states. I'll try to work in a link to another page explaining these pigment types in dogs in greater depth, but I don't think this one is the best starting place. A link to a more friendly article is a good idea.
The article does state "accordingly, the melanistic mask may be any of these colors" in reference to eumelanin. That entire portion could be made clearer -- I tend to obfuscate, but I'm in recovery. ;) Anna ^talk 05:30, 20 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

- - I was wondering if there was any relation between skin pigmentation (a black nose is pretty common) and fur pigmentation. So do black noses correlate with the mask? Or do breeds with "pink" noses (I am sure there is some technical term for it) also lack the mask consistently?
  - Sorry I missed the "accordingly, the melanistic mask may be any of these colors" statement - I was tired when I reviewed this and just did not catch that. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 15:45, 20 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]