Wikipedia:Peer review/Mariano Rivera/archive1

Mariano Rivera

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I would like to nominate the article for WP:FA status. I believe the article is very detailed, well-referenced, and neutral, but written so a non-baseball fan can understand the article. But I would like to get feedback before I proceed with the WP:FA nomination. Thanks, Y2kcrazyjoker4 (talk) 14:20, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Giants2008 comments - I'm a Yankees fan, so it's very hard for me to review this objectively. That said, I see a few things that can be improved before an FAC nomination.

• The only sources I would question are Baseball Almanac, The Baseball Cube and Beyond the Boxscore.
  • Everything removed except Beyond the Boxscore, which provides a good data collection to back up his pitch speed, and is used as a supplementary reference in its only other usage. Y2kcrazyjoker4 (talk) 14:41, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
• Reference 72 is a bare newspaper citation. The New York Daily News archives are now online, so it should be possible to find a link for this story.
• Printed reference publishers (such as USA Today and the Sporting News) should be in italics, while non-printed publishers shouldn't be. I saw three refs that need italics removed.
• Early life has an uncited quote. Just re-use the reference at the end of the paragraph.
• Reference 98 should be formatted like the book reference it is. I have the paperback version of the book; ping me if you need a page number or other help doing this.
• The most important factor at FAC is the quality of the prose. As an FAC regular, I know this better than anyone, and I also know that good copy-editing is vital for any featured article candidate to be successful. Here are several examples of what will be required at FAC:
  • "In 1990, a 20 year-old Rivera". Missing hyphen.
  • Comma after Herb Raybourn.
  • Spell out miles per hour. Also give full names of a couple of these minor league teams.
  • One thing that will be considered baseball jargon is the blown save. I fear that my fellow FAC reviewers will see that as showing a negative point of view toward Rivera, when in reality it's a common baseball term. Wish we had an article to link to, but no seperate blown save article exists. Perhaps you should consider linking to a section of the save article.
    • There is no section in the save (baseball) article dedicated to a blown save, so I'm not sure I can wikilink "blown save" like that. I did, however, have the save (baseball) article linked to only a few words later, so hopefully that is good enough. Y2kcrazyjoker4 (talk) 14:41, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
  • The bit about Enter Sandman seems like thrown-in trivia right now. It needs to have more context, namely how it became part of his identity as a closer.
  • POV concern: "However, Rivera's year ended with one of his most disappointing moments".
    • Not sure how to rephrase this without minimalizing the importance of that moment. Y2kcrazyjoker4 (talk) 14:41, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
• Organization comment: I'd like to see the Personal life section moved above the tables.
• Is there any more information out there on his early life? It would be helpful if such info exists to flesh out the section.

The main point to pay attention to above is the need for a copy-edit, preferably by an editor unfamiliar with the article. Somebody who is not a baseball fan would be even better, at least in terms of catching baseball jargon that readers may not understand. Best of luck. Giants2008 (17-14) 01:14, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

• • Thanks for all the help! Y2kcrazyjoker4 (talk) 14:41, 27 April 2009 (UTC)