Wikipedia:Peer review/Mahavira/archive2

Mahavira

Previous peer review

I've listed this article for peer review because I want to nominate this article of GA level. Mahavira was the last tirthankara of Jainism and occupies significant place in jainism. I have tried to improve the article in last few days with help of other editors and upgrade the quality of article. An assessment will help further improve the article for the objective of GA level.

Thanks, -- Pankaj Jain Capankajsmilyo (talk · contribs · count) 11:05, 4 September 2015 (UTC)

There are some high-level problems with this article:

• The lead section should be completely re-written.
  • The article begins with "Mahavira (599 BCE–527 BCE)". It should be clearly noted that this is the "traditional" dating and not the one believed by scholars to be true. In the source that is referenced, Shah clearly mentions that "Although tradition dictates that Mahavira was born about 599 bce, many scholars believe this date to be as much as 100 years early, in that Mahavira probably lived at about the same time as the Buddha, whose traditional birth date has also been reassessed."
  • Technical words like "tirthankara" and "avasparini" should either be clearly explained in the lead itself or not be used at all.
  • The lead should be clear on whether it is describing real historical figure "mahavira" or is it stating what the tradition believes him to be. It mixes mythology with historical facts.
  • Heinrich Zimmer is quoted in the lead. I am not sure whether it is a good idea to quote an author in the lead. Even if we are quoting something, I believe it should be a more recent scholarly work. Zimmer seems to be outdated.

• Too many long quotes: The article's renunciation and legacy sections contain too many long quotes. This does not seem encyclopedic.

• Important differences between digambara and svetambara sects regarding mahavira is not reflected in the article. For example, Swetambara believe that mahavira was transfered from the womb of devananda to trishala.

--Rahul (talk) 16:25, 7 September 2015 (UTC)

Comments till Birth section only:

• Lead sentence: The part "of present Avasarpani era (ascending half of the time cycle as per Jain cosmology)" is confusing. Generally, he is introduced only as the 24th tirthankar
• Lead: father and mother is WP:UNDUE info here
• "Bharat (which was larger than today's India)": confusing. change to "all over South Asia/Indian subcontinent/ancient India", whatever is accurate
• Reduce jargon in lead: kevala jnana -> enlightenment; moksha -> died
• Remove quote about Parshva from lead.
• Add teachings of Mahavira and legacy in lead
• "His childhood name ... " : Never start with he. -> "Mahavira's birth name..."
• Remove bold in non-lead parts
• What does "achieving omniscence" mean?
• Add meanings of other epithets
• Add alternate dating in Histrocity. Some date to c. 500 BCE etc. Move dates from birth. Move birth places to Birth
• King Siddhartha: state his kingdom and dynasty

Overall, lot of work is needed to take it to GA level. Major issues summary:

• Quality of language
• Too many quotes: WP:QUOTEFARM
• Missing topics:
  • Iconography
  • Worship
  • Temples
  • Sources about Life: Texts like Kalpa sutra, oral traditions (if any)

--Redtigerxyz ^Talk 16:41, 6 October 2015 (UTC)