Wikipedia:Peer review/Lombo Pocket Watch/archive1
I've listed this article for peer review because…I would like to get some feedback on how to improve.
Thanks,
LPWRHR (talk) 17:04, 8 December 2007 (UTC)
- Some feedback:
- Note WP:LEAD - for an article of this length, there should be a max of about 3 paragraphs.
- WP:HEAD suggests that headings should avoid having links; see if you can move the links to some part of the prose. Also, it looks like the text could use a couple more links.
- WP:MOSNUM discusses the usage of conversions, eg. 1 m (3 ft). I added
already. - The footnotes need proper citing; there are now {{Cite web}} templates, could you fill in the parameters? For example, title, author, date of access, etc.
- Have the article fixed for spelling and grammar mistakes (suggest that you request that somebody else helps, since having a pair of fresh eyes is good). Couple of examples: (use cursor to hover over underlined)
- Lombo Pocket Watch is a grey harness racing colt, gaited a pacer he was foaled 16 October 2003.
- The second sentence is too long and should be split up, as its rather hard to follow the subject of the sentence.
- 1st of June 2007 - WP:DATE - avoid using 'st' 'th' for dates
- As at December 7, before his McInerney Ford Classic victory, Lombo Pocket Watch sat at 28th on the all-time stakes winners list, and Australasia's youngest millionaire pacer.
- Also, there are a bunch of typos. In the fourth paragraph 'in' needs to be capitalized. Also spell-check, contributer (contributor),prestigous (prestigious).
- Do you think you could find a free picture? That would be nice.
Good luck, AZ t 21:23, 8 December 2007 (UTC)
- Could you run the slide rule over the updated version and see what else needs to be done. I don't have any photos and I'm not sure he'll race in melbourne again. LPWRHR (talk) 13:31, 9 December 2007 (UTC)