Wikipedia:Peer review/List of The Bellflower Bunnies episodes/archive3

List of The Bellflower Bunnies episodes

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.

See also: PR #1

Well, at least I'm starting to revive my efforts towards bringing this up for FLC, after a summer-long dearth in edits. While restructuring this page, I am now following the examples I found on the basic Seinfeld and Simpsons lists.

Yes, I know, don't get me wrong, it's just a children's show from France--but as we speak, I'm bringing this to attention (what with the tags on top). To ease page size, articles on each season could come in handy.

Looking forward to finally getting a triple crown in about a week.

Thanks, Slgrandson (How's my egg-throwing coleslaw?) 02:23, 19 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I was going to review this just now, but there is a template that says "This page is in the middle of an expansion or major revamping." so I will wait until the expansion or revamp is completed. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:38, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Taken care of. --Slgrandson (How's my egg-throwing coleslaw?) 04:41, 24 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from Ruhrfisch (talk · contribs · count)

Ruhrfisch comments: As requested, here are some suggestions for improvement. If you want more comments, please ask here.

I would identify the characters shown in the title card in the caption
I think it would make sense to also give the date here Meanwhile in its native France, TF1 has aired it up to #45, "Chez Zinia." Is the use of a "#" (number sign) OK? Or would it be better to say something like Meanwhile in its native France, TF1 has aired it through episode 45, "Chez Zinia."
I like the model FLs (Seinfeld and the Simpsons) and think that modeling this on them would solve two problems.
- First, it would make it more similar to these model FLs.
- Second, it would remove the episode summaries (to their own articles), which would save having to clean them up for this article.
I do note that the episode summaries are better, but still need to be copyedited, for example While a heat wave strikes Beechwood Grove hard, Periwinkle and his father uncover an underwater creek—and from it, a cursed belt buckle that could put them in further danger. It is not clear what the original danger is (the heat wave?) or Poppy awaits the return of his girlfriend, whom he first met while investigating a robbery in Beechwood Grove, and plans to show her a moon-ready rocket he just made. But then, he grows jealous because of her stepbrother guest, Norbert. What is a "stepbrother guest"?
I think the fact that the Christmas epsiode apparently never aired in English needs to be mentioned / explained in the article.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:34, 25 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've cut down the size to 16.9K, and begun the season pages. Now, what else is there before heading into FLC? --Slgrandson (How's my egg-throwing coleslaw?) 21:23, 26 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Resolved comments from Dabomb87

Comments from Dabomb87 (talk · contribs)

"This is a list of episodes in The Bellflower Bunnies, a children's animated series which debuted on the French television network, TF1, on December 24, 2001." Featured lists don't start like this anymore. See recently promoted FLs for ideas on lead sentences.
Shouldn't this article use international date format?
"Moran Caouissin directed the first season, while Eric Berthier did the last two." "while"-->and.
"(In the first four English episodes, Violette retains her original French name, Pirouette.[2])" I don't like that a complete sentence is in parenthesis in the lead. Either remove the parenthesis or remove the entire sentence.
"There are 52 episodes of this show: four in the first season, 22 in the second, and 26 in the third." Per MOSNUM, comparable quantities should either all be spelled out or all typed as digits.
"~~Meanwhile~~ in ~~its native~~ France, TF1 has aired it through episode 45, 'Chez Zinia.'" "Meanwhile" is idle here, and native is unnecessary because we've already been told that the series is French.
"~~Various~~ distributors in Europe,[6][7][8][9][10][11] North America,[12] and South Korea[13] have released DVDs of the first two seasons." "various" is vague.
"There are 52 episodes of this show"-->The show has 52 episodes.
"September 2004 - February 2005" needs to have an en dash instead of a hyphen.
"April 2007 - TBA" Same here.

Dabomb87 (talk) 21:48, 29 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

What's this "international date format" you speak of? --Slgrandson (How's my egg-throwing coleslaw?) 08:34, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

In International date format, the day of the month is written before the month itself—1 January instead of January 1. All countries except for the United States and sometimes Canada use international format. See Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style_(dates_and_numbers)#Full_date_formatting. Dabomb87 (talk) 12:27, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]