Wikipedia:Peer review/Leonard Harrison State Park/archive1

Leonard Harrison State Park

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for August 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
We've listed this article for peer review because we believe that it could be a Featured Article, and are looking for some feedback before it is submitted to WP:FAC. It follows a format and style very similar to that of both Black Moshannon State Park and Worlds End State Park which are featured articles that we have worked on.

Thanks in advance for any feedback, Dincher (talk) and Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 18:59, 8 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Dtbohrer

Not a lot needs to done to get ready for FAC. But I managed to find some tiny things that could be fixed.

An acre conversion is different from the others, probably should convert to hectare; "He purchased 121 acres (0.49 km²) of land"

Fixed it. Thanks. Dincher (talk) 02:01, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Should "groundshogs" be capitalized?

Good question. I wish I knew the correct answer. It's capitalized at Black Moshannon and Worlds End. The names of the other critters are capitalized too. Dincher (talk) 02:01, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I think we should be consistent with the other parks and capitalize a species name (Groundhogs) but not a genus names (oaks). This is one of those things that need to be worked on - thanks Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:28, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Groundhog isn't capitalized in the article on groundhogs, though. --D.B.^{talk•contribs} 14:34, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

This is beiong debated at the Manual of Style talk page now, so I will wait until there is a consensus there. The commented notice on Black Moshannon and Worlds End state parks is Note - the convention used for this article is that species names are capitalized, but other plant and animals are not: so "Cooper's Hawk", but just "hawks". Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 15:51, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

There is a big empty area to the right of the list of nearby state parks. Any chance you could break the list into two columns?

Could be done on Firefox and whatever the other one is, not Internet Explorer. Dincher (talk) 02:01, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Good suggestion, thanks! I knew a trick that fixed it as two columns in IE too, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:42, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good now. --D.B.^{talk•contribs} 14:34, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"Some 29,150 picnickers enjoyed the park in 2003."; Sounds promotionial and the source doesn't specifically say they "enjoyed" the park; Suggest something on along the lines of "In 2003, 29,150 people visited the park whose main purpose was to picnic." That sounds awkward to me but you get the picture.
- Thanks, I changed it to "The park hosted some 29,150 picnickers in 2003." Is this better? Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:42, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

That works. --D.B.^{talk•contribs} 14:34, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

As for Colton Point being in Leonard Harrison's history, it would seem difficult and not beneficiary to not mention Colton Point at all (given their proximity to one another). Although, the sentence, "The land on which Colton Point State Park sits was sold to the Commonwealth for $2.50 per acre ($6.25 per ha) by the Pennsylvania Joint Land and Lumber Company, which had no further use for it." could go, as well as mentioning Colton Point in "A variety of warblers are found in Leonard Harrison and Colton Point State Parks.", without substantially affecting the article.
- Thanks, Dincher got the warblers, and I took the land purtchase out and will move it to the Colton Point article next. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:42, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

--D.B.^{talk•contribs} 17:47, 9 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks very much - good catches all, will work on fixing these in the next day Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 21:41, 9 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I took care of a few. Thanks. Dincher (talk) 02:01, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks - I think they have all been addressed except for consistent species capitalization Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:42, 10 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from User:jackyd101 A very nice article, only three comments that sprang to mind below. Congratulations on another fine piece of work.--Jackyd101 (talk) 16:06, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks so much for your review and helpful comments. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 17:30, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"The state of Pennsylvania asked that Pine Creek be withdrawn from the federal program though, but did not officially include it in its own state Scenic and Wild Rivers for over twenty years." - why? If you don't know, is there perhaps a better way to phrase this?
- Thanks for poitning this out. There is a whole chapter on this in Owlett's book and Dillon goes into some detail on the toipic too. I did not want to go into too much detail, but I can add a few sentences or perhaps a note. There was local opposition to any federal protection (some thought it meant they would lose their land to the government) and it would have kept any dams from being constructed on the creek (which there were unsuccessful schemes to do until the late 20th century - Little Pine Creek was dammed by the state to make a state park bigger in the 1950s). I think mostly it was a control issue - although it seems odd now, the rail trail had to overcome some fierce opposition initially too. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 17:30, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - I have hopefully made it clearer. Thanks again, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 16:40, 12 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
"Pine from Pine Creek was considered the "best timber in the world for making fine ship masts"" - by who (this is more out of curiosity than as something you must change).
- Owlett just says shipbuilders considered it so (and in the previous sentence mentions clipper ships and the growing East Coast cities of the US). I tweaked the sentence to read According to Owlett, shipbuilders considered pine from Pine Creek the "best timber in the world for making fine ship masts",[24] so it was the first lumber to be harvested on a large scale. Hopefully this is clearer. I have read that before the American Revolution, Pennsylvania supplied much of the Royal Navy with masts (but that is too early for mention here). Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 17:30, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Maybe he isn't but to me Leonard Harrison sounds like an interesting guy. Is there enough material to create an article on him?
- Agreed, but sadly there is not much on him besides the brief blurb on the official park website and similar brief mentions in the books. He did help found the Wellsboro, PA electric company (their webpage has a blue-tinted version of the same photo of him). If we can find more on him, we will try for an article. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 17:30, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Doubly agreed. I have searched in vain for more info on Harrison. Dincher (talk) 19:56, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I found his obituary in the New York Times. It left a lot to be desired but, nonetheless, I thought I'd offer. --D.B.^{talk•contribs} 21:38, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Can you link it? Dincher (talk) 00:04, 12 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done [1], bottom of the page. --D.B.^{talk•contribs} 00:13, 12 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

(edit conflict) It is subscription only, but here is the link [2] and here is the search [3] which gives more of it actually. It is only 3 sentences - he died Jan 12 at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, he was 79 years old, he donated the park. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 00:26, 12 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The Wellsboro library has a newspaper archive - I found this on a birthday dinner for Harrison [4] and there is more - I think we can get an article on him out of this, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 00:48, 12 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've collaborated in the past with an editor who's a genealogist and is rather good at finding pieces of info about not very well known people. If you need it, he might be able to help you find more info. I believe you may have run across him back when Presque Isle became an FA. --D.B.^{talk•contribs} 01:11, 12 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I think we will definitely write an article on Mr. Harrison, the Wellsboro newspaper seems to have a lot on him. Thanks for the offer - will take you up on it, perhaps with others articles or LH's. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 16:40, 12 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the helpful comments and kind words. Dincher (talk) 19:56, 11 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]