Wikipedia:Peer review/Larrys Creek/archive1

Larrys Creek

This has made good article, with some additions since. I am interested in general suggestions for improvement and if reviewers believe this could potentially be a Featured Article (I am not sure the topic is substantial enough). Basically, I have made most of the edits to this article and I would appreciate more input and feedback on it. I am working on other Pennsylvania creek articles and this is the model for those. Thanks for any feedback, Ruhrfisch 04:53, 12 July 2006 (UTC)

• Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ _t 14:10, 14 July 2006 (UTC)

Note: The automated suggestions are now pasted at the bottom of this page.

• • Thanks for the suggestions, I will note those I fix here as I do them. For now I fixed WP:MOSNUM issues (added "a non-breaking space...between a number and the unit of measurement" and "spell[ed] out source units of measurements in text"). Also linked "years with full dates" and "alphabetize[d] the categories". Ruhrfisch 02:58, 15 July 2006 (UTC)
  • Removed "vague terms of size" Ruhrfisch 16:47, 18 July 2006 (UTC)
  • Removed redundancies, added more info based on Wikipedia:WikiProject Rivers guidelines and tried tightening the intro section. Still need to add refs to intro and make it better reflect the article as a whole. Ruhrfisch 04:15, 25 July 2006 (UTC)
  • I believe I have now addressed all the automated peer review suggestions, and would appreciate any (non-automated) feedback). Thanks Ruhrfisch 15:17, 27 July 2006 (UTC)

WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE LOOK AT THIS ARTICLE AND REVIEW IT? I am very sorry to 'shout' but I am hoping to get someone's attention (and thanks again to AndyZ for the helpful semi-automated suggestions). Thanks, Ruhrfisch 16:08, 6 August 2006 (UTC)

• A few things I noticed:
  • in Lycoming County, Pennsylvania in the comma missing after Pennsylvania
  • The second sentence is a a bit too long
  • The Great Shamokin Path crossed the creek near its mouth,[5] where Larry Burt, the first settler (for whom Larrys Creek is named) also lived. comma missing after settler
  • and coal and iron mines extra "and"
  • Some words like northwest don't need to be linked – see WP:CONTEXT
  • the village of Cogan House, then under the Larrys Creek Covered Bridge missing and
  • It is 90 feet (27 m) long and a Burr arch truss bridge. I think it sounds slightly better without the "and a"
  • Camp Kiwanis, and the New Tribes Institute, a camp for preparing Christian missionaries. in lists of 2 items, the comma isn't necessary (and could a little bit be provided for Camp Kiwanis also?)
  • The Great Shamokin Path crossed the creek at a ford near its mouth, however, no trails of the indigenous peoples are recorded as having followed Larrys Creek north.[5] comma before however should be semicolon, or however should be changed to but
  • Lycoming County was formed from Northumberland County prompting further growth missing comma
• Thanks, AZ _t 20:49, 6 August 2006 (UTC)

Thanks so much - I believe these have all been addressed now. Ruhrfisch 05:01, 7 August 2006 (UTC)

Automated Suggestions

Taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Peer_review/Automated/Archive_2#Larrys_Creek (cut and paste with wikilinks put back in, but not footnotes)

Larrys Creek The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and may or may not be accurate for the article in question.

• The lead of this article may be too long, or may contain too many paragraphs. Please follow guidelines at WP:LEAD; be aware that the lead should adequately summarize the article.
• Per WP:MOSNUM, there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 18mm, use 18 mm, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 18 mm.[4]
• Per WP:MOSNUM, please spell out source units of measurements in text; for example, "the Moon is 380,000 kilometres (240,000 mi) from Earth.[10]
• Per WP:CONTEXT and WP:BTW, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006, but do not link January 2006.[2]
• Please alphabetize the categories.[11]
• Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
  • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
• Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that the it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 2a. [3]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, AZ _t 14:07, 14 July 2006 (UTC)