Wikipedia:Peer review/King's X/archive1
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for November 2008.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…
I have done an extensive amount of editing and adding of information to this page and would like a serious critique of how I've done overall.
Thanks, Now2blue (talk) 17:15, 13 November 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: Very briefly, here are some suggestions for improvement.
- The lead should expanded to 2 or 3 paragraphs per WP:LEAD. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way
- Biggest problem I see with this article is a lack of references - without them it will not make GA, let alone FA. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. As one example of many, the whole [edit] Move to Houston (1985 - 1987) section has no refs.
- Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase, so fix ... most removed their albums from sale after Pinnick's announcement in 1998 of his homosexuality.[6][7] [6] for example.
- Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
- There are a lot of one and two sentence paragraphs that need to be combined with others, or perhaps expanded - as it is they break up the flow of the article.
- Any chance for more images - fair use of the band performing or an album cover?
- There is no mention of the name being a CHristian name (even in the Band's name section) until this Whether the band's name was intended as a Christian reference or not, the band members themselves have resisted being identified as a Christian metal or Christian rock band.[5] Provide context for the reader and explain this - why is there no discussion of it in the Band name section??
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 03:11, 21 November 2008 (UTC)