Wikipedia:Peer review/Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814/archive2

Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814

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This peer review discussion has been closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because… I'd like to nominate this for Wikipedia:Featured article candidates and I'd like the most critical peer review possible to work it up to FAC presentation.

Thanks, The Bookkeeper (of the Occult) 23:56, 9 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Calvin999

This has been waiting a few weeks without response, so here's some comments from what I found looking at the article.

Alphabetise the genres in the info box
Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814 is the fourth studio album by American recording artist Janet Jackson, released on September 19, 1989, by A&M Records. → Long winded. Try: Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814 is the fourth studio album by American recording artist Janet Jackson. It was released on September 19, 1989, by A&M Records.
Despite label executives desiring → Although label executives wanted
Collaborating with record producers → Collaborating with musical duo (since they are songwriters and producers)
for youth because → for youth groups because (I doubt she was a role model for all youth)
Notable for → Noted for (?)
Songs range → The songs range
appeal along multiple → appeal across multiple
sixfold → six-times
, among other publications "best of" album lists. → Unless you're going to give an example(s), I'd remove this.
It has been cited as an influence in various musical trends, inspiring numerous artists. → Such as?
It is only album → A word is missing here
For further promotion, → What was the previous promotion in order for this to be further?
She became regarded → To me, to reads a bit awkward
She became regarded as a fashion icon, with her "Rhythm Nation" attire being emulated by youth. → What attire?
producer Jimmy Jam later → Link Jimmy Jam.
Jimmy Jam stated → Jam stated (Use surname only following the first mention)
The Background section, I think, is too reliant on long quotations.
According to Jimmy Jam, → Same here, use Jam
Actually, make: According to Jimmy Jam, he, Terry Lewis and Jackson → Jam, Lewis and Jackson
Prior its recording, → Missing word
sixfold platinum → six-times platinum
The first two paragraphs of Release and commercial performance should remain as so. But the following paragraphs discussing the singles should be in their own section called Singles
You start Composition and production, Release and commercial performance and Critical reception with "The album"
Elizabeth the Queen Mother → Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother
Rhythm Nation World Tour 1990 is far too detailed. It should be one, perhaps two, paragraphs at the very most. There's no point having a Main article tag if this much info is being used.
In the Accolades section, you either have prose or a table, not both, as it's repeating the same thing.
The Organization column should be marked up for access (shaded grey) and I would rename it to Ceremony. I don't think magazine ranks should be included here, they aren't 'awards' as such.
Tables like this should also go at the bottom of an article, with the others.
All songs except interludes and "Black Cat" are co-produced by Janet Jackson. → A bit irrelevant.
United Kingdom Albums → UK Albums Chart
There doesn't seem to be many charts?

I'm actually going to buy this album now, I want to listen to it after reading this. Please ping me if you have any comments of questions. Hope this helps. — Calvin999 15:48, 25 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the notes. I hope to continue editing the article over the weekend. The Bookkeeper (of the Occult) 14:03, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

You're welcome. I actually bought this album yesterday. — Calvin999 15:24, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]