Wikipedia:Peer review/James Nelson Barker/archive1
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I feel I have added a lot of information to it, but there are still some areas that feel unfinished. I would also like to know if it reads well, or if the wording is choppy.
Thanks, Deliirving (talk) 21:20, 27 March 2015 (UTC)
Quick comment: the arrangement of the sections "Personal life" with "Literary", "Military", and "Politics" need to be chronological. With mentioning that he died in the Personal life section and then continuing about his life in one of those other three categories make it confusing to read. Better rearrange those sections to something like early life, literary (assuming he did this first), military and the third would be politics and his death. -Joel. Ugog Nizdast (talk) 10:27, 11 April 2015 (UTC)
- Lead: The lead for this article is clear and succinct. The lead also sets up the primary/noteworthy accomplishments of Barker's life.
- Structure: The chronology of Barker's life and his overlapping "careers" is clouded when structured as literary/military/political lives. This article might be well served by a section that is simply a biographical chronology, to give an overview and context, followed by narrative sections (literary, military, political) to provide details on the noteworthy features of various aspects of his biography. These narrative sections could, for instance, allow for a summary of themes and objectives of his literary works (helping define the American character, brining the lives of Native Americans to the general Euro-American public, developing an American literature), or information about the accomplishments of his terms as mayor, etc.
- Internal Links: The article might be improved with clearer links to other historical figures or trends. For instance, a link to "Jacksonian Democracy" or internal or external links on "Literature of the Early Republic" - are there, for instance, thematic/philosophical ties to James Fenimore Cooper, Washington Irving?
- External Links: The YouTube links are an interesting addition (though the first link Chorus of Adventurers from "The Indian Princess" is inactive.)
- Citations: The citations form a helpful bibliography of Philadelphia, military, political and biographical sources. Given the Wikipedia conventions, are there too many specific citations by page number?
- Final observation: The nominator for peer review has asked if the wording is choppy. I did find the presentation of material disjoined. The suggestion above to separate chronology from narrative might help deliver the facts (chronology) and allow for smoother delivery of "analysis" (narrative). I would also encourage the nominee to eliminate information that is not germane to Barker's life and work (such as the reference to Wade Hampton being the father of a future confederate General). EDOrt (talk) 15:27, 14 April 2015 (UTC)
I think you have lots of good information about James Nelson Barker, but I agree that it is a little choppy and the structure could you some reorganizing. Instead of flushing out his literary, military, and personal life maybe it would be good to organize the article chronologically and highlight important dates. I am interested in how his military and political life affected his literary writing and it is hard to get grasp on that now with how the article is structured. It can be confusing to go back and forth between sections looking for dates and when things overlapped.
Also as far as content goes I am curious if you can flush out his literary career more. I would be interested in what "school" he is under-realism, modernism, more about how he was viewed during the time period he wrote in, and what scholars today have to say about his contribution to drama and essentially why we should care about him as a playwright. I would maybe also like to see an image of James if you can find one.
Overall the article is very well cited and I'm sure drastically improved from where it started. As a reader I get a good sense of who James was and his accomplishments in his lifetime. Moving forward I think if you work on the structure and continue to add some more content about him as a playwright you will have a solid article. Jsattler07 (talk) 14:40, 15 April 2015 (UTC)