Wikipedia:Peer review/Ivan Sratsimir of Bulgaria/archive1
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I have expanded the article but my style is rough and I am sure I have made some grammar and stylistic (and probably spelling :S) mistakes which need to be addressed. I would like to know whether the article can be submitted for a GA review. I would welcome and address (if possible) all suggestions for further improvement.
Thanks, Gligan (talk) 18:59, 16 September 2011 (UTC)
- Comments by Bradley0110
An interesting and informative article to read. I see no reason why the article could not be nominated as a good article. Some comments:
- You alternate between Standard English and American English spellings, e.g. favour in the lead and organized. You should still to just one system of spelling throughout the article.
- I hope it is corrected now.
- "Ivan Sratsimir was proclaimed co-emperor by his father in 1337 at the age of 12–14," Due to his date of birth not being clear, it is difficult to state "the age of 12-14". As you have stated the exact year of 1337, I think you can afford to be vague about his age and say something like "his early teenage years"?
- Done.
- Can you be more specific about the rivarly? Was it between Ivan Sratsimir and his brothers or among the population or both?
- It was strictly between the brothers, the population was not involved at all.
- " a move that was probably arranged with the help of Ivan Sratsimir's mother Theodora as a reaction to the actions of Ivan Alexander." This statement needs a source, especially because of the use of "probably".
- Done.
Bradley0110 (talk) 15:22, 9 October 2011 (UTC)
- I would like to thank you for the corrections you have made and to appologize for my delay to address your remarks. Regards, --Gligan (talk) 14:01, 13 October 2011 (UTC)