Wikipedia:Peer review/Isabelle Eberhardt/archive1

Isabelle Eberhardt

I've listed this article for peer review because i'd eventually like to nominate it for GA, but since i've been the only person working on it I think it could use some perspective from other editors first.

Thanks, Freikorp (talk) 00:51, 29 September 2015 (UTC)

Hi Freikorp.

This is a pretty good article already, and if I were reviewing it for GA I wouldn't have a lot to say about the text as it stands: it's well written. A few things I feel are missing, however.

• What happened after Eberhardt met Ehnni? Did she continue to use her Arabic name and male form of dress?

• My offline source that is used for her quote regarding her clothing specifically says Eberhardt used the reply to anyone who questioned her dress style, including her husband. I've reworded accordingly. Freikorp (talk)

• Could you expand on why the French authorities started this desperate campaign to get rid of her? It feels excessive and isn't really explained.

• Hopefully i've done a better job of explaining this now. Freikorp (talk)

• You could usefully clarify things for an outside reader. E.g. the knowledge that Bône is in Algeria, and who Hubert Lyautey is.

• Done. Freikorp (talk)

• What were her writings about?

• Hopefully i've now addressed this enough in the 'Early life' and the beginning of the 'Life in north Africa' section. Freikorp (talk)

Other points:

• Why are some of her works in Further reading and others in Publications? Why aren't the titles in Publications formatted correctly?

• I've put all the titles in italics. The Further Reading section was one of the few things in the article before I overhauled it, while I added the Publications section, I overlooked the fact that this duplicated some of her works. Freikorp (talk)

• What are some of the competing views on her legacy? You say there has been debate, but you don't give examples of peoples' evaluations of her.

• I'm sorry, i'm not sure where i've said there's been debate. The only thing I thought you could be referring to is the sentence "Such behaviour has caused discussion about Eberhart's complicity with colonialism by modern historians" - the source that is attributed to specifically says "Her collaboration with Lyautey led in the 1990s to academic discussions of Eberhardt's complicity with colonialism by critics such as..." Freikorp (talk)

• That is the place I meant. You would improve the article a lot if you could find some of those 1990s writings and include their evaluations. Relentlessly (talk)

• I'll keep this in mind, thanks. Freikorp (talk)

• Early in the page you say "a Qadiriyya", later you say "the Qadiriyya". The article on that subject suggests the latter is correct.

• Done. Freikorp (talk)

• "Nathalie had been married a widower, General Pavel de Moerder, who was forty years older than her,[4] and the general and had hired Trophimowsky to tutor his and Nathalie's two children, Nicolas and Vladimir." This doesn't fully make sense: I think there's a word missing after "general and".

• I just left a superfluous "and" in there; thanks for pointing it out. Freikorp (talk)

• I wonder if some more structure might be brought out of the Life in North Africa section. Could you divide it into subsections with appropriate headers?

• This is something i've been struggling with. I tried to make sub-sections but I couldn't think of more than one appropriate title, and I felt that having only one sub-section just drew attention to the fact the rest of the overly large section wasn't divided up. Any suggestions for titles would be helpful, but no worries if you can't think of anything either. Freikorp (talk)

More things may occur to me and I'll note them here if they do. Relentlessly (talk) 12:05, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks so much for your review. I've worked on a few issues and i'll work on more tomorrow. Cheers. Freikorp (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

Good stuff, and a very interesting read about an interesting woman. I agree that it's hard to find decent subsection headers for the text you have: it's just that awkward in-between length!

If you have a chance at some point to look at my current PR request, I'd be massively grateful. Relentlessly (talk) 22:54, 5 October 2015 (UTC)

Thanks again for your review, i'm happy to close this review now so that I can nominate something else. I'll have a look at your nomination now; cheers. Freikorp (talk) 10:15, 7 October 2015 (UTC)