Wikipedia:Peer review/Ipswich Town F.C./archive1

Ipswich Town F.C.

I'd like the article to be reviewed from the perspective of the article being elevated to featured article - it's loosely based on the Arsenal F.C. article which is a current FA. All comments of any type are encouraged and more than welcome! The Rambling Man 18:12, 19 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Elisson

The article suffers from recentism. I understand that the history before turning professional might not be that interresting, but one single paragraph to cover 80 years of history (1878–1961), then three paragraphs for the next 30 years (1961–1994), and finally three long paragraphs for the next 10 years (1995–today) is not well balanced. Other than that, nothing major. Maybe incorporate the ownership section somewhere else (no separate section needed for that short text) and expand the intro somewhat (not necessary, but I would prefer it). – Elisson • T • C • 22:39, 19 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, I agree. We'll try to remedy this and I'll let you know when, in our opinion, we've fixed it! Cheers. The Rambling Man 08:05, 20 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Agreed here too. The section is also too long, so I'll focus my hacking on reducing the most recent history. --Dweller 09:58, 20 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- I've had a good hack at it. Along the way, I've got rid of some POV and tightened up some English. Any better? --Dweller 17:09, 20 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Qwghlm

Make sure you use the singular or plural consistently throughout the article.
Hopefully covered, if not can you specify individual erroneous entries please? The Rambling Man 21:25, 19 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"the top flight" should not be in quotemarks.
Quotemarks destroyed The Rambling Man 21:02, 19 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Some slightly clichéd phrases in the History section - "the writing was on the wall", "against all odds", "the end of season lottery" - which should be excised.
"writing ... wall" and "...lottery..." dismissed, couldn't find the "...against all odds..." quotation, hopefully problem solved. The Rambling Man 21:08, 19 March 2007 (UTC) [reply]
"The club was amongst the first exponents of goal nets, in 1890" - needs citation.
Cited by club website The Rambling Man 21:13, 19 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
When was the original crest adopted? Was there anything used before that?
Good question. I'll work on that one, I think we did have another crest before the 60s so more to come on that one. The Rambling Man 21:20, 19 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- To do. --Dweller 18:07, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  Done. The Rambling Man 18:25, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
In the stadium section very short (one/two sentence) paragraphs should be merged into larger ones, as appropriate.
Reflowed accordingly The Rambling Man 21:13, 19 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"Although there is a certain amount of controversy surrounding this,..." is a bad way to start that sentence. Suggested alternative: "The origins of the nickname are not certain, but..."
Done. The Rambling Man 21:15, 19 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Addendum the external links could do with organising under subheadings; also the forums links should go under WP:EL and in the interests of NPOV the anti-Sheepshanks link should go as well.
Okay, hopefully reorganised accordingly, but happy to take more precise advice on specifics. The Rambling Man 21:19, 19 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Apart from that, the article is very good in my view; as well as the above it may need the odd minor copyedit or two before reaching FA status but that's all. Qwghlm 20:39, 19 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Oldelpaso

Its worth mentioning that Ipswich's feat of winning the league title in their first ever top-flight season is unique (aside from Preston in the first ever season of course)
Indeed, and this may be lazy but can you help out with a decent citation that backs that up? Pretty please?! The Rambling Man 23:08, 20 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- To do. --Dweller 18:07, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  Well, this said it was "...a unique achievement at the time..." so perhaps someone has done it since? I'm leaving it out for now until we get a citation that backs Oldelpaso up. The Rambling Man 18:45, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Hmm. Finding something that states it explicitly is proving difficult, this RSSSF page comes closest. The phrasing used by the BBC article is inaccurate. Five newly-promoted teams have won the championship (Liverpool, Everton, Spurs, Ipswich and Forest) but only Ipswich were top-flight debutants. This can be determined by inspection, but as it stands we have no source saying it directly. Oldelpaso 20:05, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

In discussing the "Tractor Boys" nickname, the phrase "it appeared that he was unaware of why the most vociferous of Town fans were referring to themselves as such" seems POVish.
POV obliterated. The Rambling Man 23:07, 20 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
A little more about the club's attendances in a historical context would be useful.
Yep, I don't have much time right now, but for anyone interested, check this out The Rambling Man 23:03, 20 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- To do. --Dweller 18:07, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  Graph added with average and peak attendances for every season from 1936 onwards The Rambling Man 20:19, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Things which could do with references:
- "Most observers expected Ipswich to suffer relegation from the Premiership in their first season back at this level".
  Rephrased to avoid OR and thus no need for citation The Rambling Man 23:00, 20 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- The dates in the second paragraph of the Stadia section.
  Done... The Rambling Man 22:51, 20 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I think the referenced capacity is a rounded figure - [1] gives 30,311. Oldelpaso 21:29, 20 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Bingo, I thought that too. Ahem. Stopping the rounding. Now. The Rambling Man 22:44, 20 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by HornetMike

Excellent work with expanding it so quickly chaps. Just a few comments:

Lead could do with a bit of an expansion. Not sure where, though. Helpful as ever...
- To do. --Dweller 18:07, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  - On review of WP:LEAD, two chunky parags seem fine for an article of this size. Also, the Arsenal F.C. FA has a lead of similar proportions. I think I'm happy with this as is. --Dweller 18:45, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"They joined the Southern Amateur League in 1907 and with results improving year-on-year, despite the suspension of the league due to the First World War, became champions in the 1921–22 season.[3]" That's a long clause in the middle of the sentence, makes the flow difficult. I'm not sure it's even needed, really. Although, if you did remove it you'd need to change year-on year to something like steadily.
Sorted The Rambling Man 09:28, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"A year later the club turned professional and success was swift in coming; the club won the Southern League in its first season and finished third in the next." Hmm? The previous sentence said they joined the Eastern Counties League, when did they join the Southern League?
Agreed and done... The Rambling Man 09:23, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"won promotion to the top level of English football, Division One in 1960–61.[4]" Comma after Division One, possibly?
Comma'd The Rambling Man 09:26, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"The English champions qualified for the European Cup (now Champions League)" Don't think you need the Champions League explanation
I'd guess that you mean the explanation isn't necessary? Removed The Rambling Man 09:26, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"The club remained in the Second Division for four years until Bill McGarry finally guided Ipswich to promotion in the 1967–68 season" Finally? They were only down for 4 years!
-finally The Rambling Man 09:28, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"with a team packed with international players" Bit colloquial
-colloquilism The Rambling Man 09:30, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"Texaco Cup and FA Youth Cup (also won in 1975)." That looks like forcing a bit too much information in there, FA Youth Cup's not that important you don't really need to mention something that didn't contribute to anything.
Done. The Rambling Man 09:34, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"From 1986 to 1990, Ipswich Town were managed by John Duncan who was replaced by former West Ham boss John Lyall.[17]" Add a subsequently before replaced to make the sentence better
Done. The Rambling Man 09:37, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
When was the original crest designed? Upon the club's foundation?
- To do. --Dweller 18:07, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  - I see TRMan has dealt with this. --Dweller 18:46, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I'd swear Tractor Boys was older than that! I'm prepared to defer to the links, though.
I'll stick with our current references. The Rambling Man 17:53, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"Locally, much is made of the informal title "Pride of Anglia"." That probably needs a bit of explanation - i.e. Clubs in the East Anglia region vie to become "Pride of Anglia" (except better worded, probably!)
- To do. --Dweller 18:07, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  I think the explanation in the following sentence is sufficient. Plus the wiki-link out to the article about the phrase as well. The Rambling Man 19:25, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
A few seasons unlinked
Hopefully all X-X+1 now linked. The Rambling Man 17:53, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Otherwise, great work! HornetMike 18:55, 21 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by SteveO

Only a few nit-picking comments, since there really isn't much wrong with the article

Once George Burley is introduced in the history section, he can be referred to simply as Burley in the sentences which follow.
- Good spot. Done. --Dweller 09:34, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Is there a reason why Ipswich started wearing blue? According to this, they started off wearing striped shirts and black shorts, which may be worth a mention.
- To do. --Dweller 18:07, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  I can't find a good reason for blue, presumably it was just a popular colour - plenty of clubs in blue or red etc that almost certainly have no reason other than it was a popular choice. I'm not really going into too much about the early days of the shirts because citations using decent sources are extremely hard to come by (and I don't think that one is a particularly reliable source, it has dead links on it for a start) The Rambling Man 19:33, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
In the honours section, the statement: "Ipswich have won a number of honours" seems irrelevant, since the trophy list proves that anyway.
- Yup. I hate tautology. Ditching it now. --Dweller 09:46, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Winning the FA Youth Cup doesn't need to be mentioned in the history section, as it's not a first-team honour.
- I agree that it's not a major honour, but disagree that it shouldn't be mentioned, as the nuance is that FA Youth Cup winners are likely to benefit from a strong team with a spine of home-grown playrs in the following years. It's a tough competition to win and the winners are in good stead. I welcome a come-back or further consensus from others. --Dweller 09:45, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  - Further comment on this, etc, at the article talk. --Dweller 09:56, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
"the heaviest defeat in a Premiership match" should be tightened a bit to show that this is a league record.
- To do. --Dweller 18:07, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  Slight rewording, and with citation it's clear. The Rambling Man 19:31, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

SteveO 21:51, 21 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Ending Peer Review soon

I've identified ~~eightfour~~one outstanding comments above to action/respond to. I'd welcome more, before we move on from Peer Review. --18:11, 22 March 2007 (UTC)(updated Dweller 18:48, 22 March 2007 (UTC))[reply]

We're done, the FA nom is up and running, but by all means, open invitation to continue peer reviewing, either here or at the FAC page. The Rambling Man 20:26, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Bigmike

This is my first PR response, just a few possible suggestions...Bigmike 19:43, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

"to form the Eastern Counties Football League" - I would reword that to "to become founder members of the Eastern Counties Football League", just to make it explicit, currently it seems to suggest that Ipswich created the league themselves...
- Nice idea. --Dweller 20:08, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  Dweller's done it. The Rambling Man 20:25, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
The Ownership section should be incorporated into the History section.
- Yeah, I guess so, a two-line single para sub section isn't great. The Rambling Man 20:14, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  Done The Rambling Man 20:25, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Notable players - perhaps add a couple of the greatest Ipswich players here, as well as the link to the separate article?
- This can't really be done, without encountering problems about subjectivity. One man's "great" is another man's donkey. Remember Tony Adams? --Dweller 20:08, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
  - Or England international Carlton Palmer? In seriousness, we're following the Arsenal F.C. FA as a guide, and we're doing what they're doing. The Rambling Man 20:14, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
Could the managers section be contracted to include only the most successful/notable managers, with the surplus info put into the records article?
- See previous reply. --Dweller 20:08, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
There are no books cited in the references section, surely there must be some books out there?
- Might be nice to cite some. Anyone got one? --Dweller 20:08, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]
- Indeed, but typically I'd reference things that were cited in the article. I can do a search on books and add some but for the time being, we don't need them... The Rambling Man 20:14, 22 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Closing Peer Review

All comments and criticisms have been responded to. Please continue at [[ Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Ipswich Town F.C.]] Thank you for your contributions. --Dweller 10:19, 23 March 2007 (UTC)[reply]