Wikipedia:Peer review/How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies/archive1

How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies

I've listed this article for peer review because I have developed the page quite considerably and need more assistance to get it up to scratch. I would like for the page to get FA or GA nomination at some point.

Thanks, M48SKY (talk) 10:16, 18 October 2024 (UTC)

Hi! This is my first time doing a peer review. So, another peer reviewer can identify more points.

Points of improvement I can see are:

1. Theatrical Release Dates. See MOS:FILMRELEASE - I don't think listing each release date in every country is necessary, and the source by Event Cinemas used doesn't support any release date mentioned.
2. Check the capitalization in reference 50 by FilmInk, see MOS:ALLCAPS Done! Keep checking for other sources that don't follow MOS:CONFORMTITLE.
3. References 61 and 62 use IMDB. Kindly replace them: the IMDB sources are based on Variety, a reliable source according WP:PERENNIAL. The references are duplicates - use one twice. Done!
4. I'm currently checking whether references are needed in the casting, but try to check for reliable sources for the cast list.
5. Check other duplicate references

These are what I found, as far as I can know. Good hopes in your article! RFNirmala (talk) 02:43, 21 October 2024 (UTC)

Hi! Sorry, just got around to this now. Thank you for helping on the page, I think you've gone onto fix most the improvements you mentioned above. I've used other film articles to influence how I should write and structure this article. I've only tried to include information on the article that I could find sources for. If you have any ideas or other things I could fix, please let me know! M48SKY (talk) 19:13, 25 October 2024 (UTC)

Your edit on the lead section was great. I worked on the plot's grammar, so you might try checking the other sections I might have overlooked.

You can work on these:

• Currency and wikilinks, such as the Thai baht wikilink. There's a wikilink on the USD in a sentence about Singapore, refer to MOS:CURRENCY and make sure whether it's the SGD or USD. Some of the sources about box office in countries might not be consistent to the numbers written in Wikipedia (e.g. the $50 million gross worldwide and https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/how-to-make-millions-before-grandma-dies-global-release-1235978825/ cited as reference and the Singapore gross I mentioned).
• Choosing whether to use British English or American English for the article: there's a "recognized" word and "organised" word in /* Filming */ and /* Release */. Done! Used American English

Let's hope another peer reviewer comes in. RFNirmala (talk) 07:26, 27 October 2024 (UTC)

Heya! This article looks great! In this review, I'd like to focus on prose, but please do disregard if they are nitpicky or wrong.

• How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies went viral during its initial release after being the subject of a social media trend featuring users videoing themselves crying from watching the film. — This feels overly dense. Perhaps it could be restructured, say: Upon release, How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies went viral, spurred by a social media trend where viewers posted videos of themselves crying after watching the film.
• The film was the first GDH production to originate from a screenwriter, as most of their projects are traditionally developed by producers or directors. — This is a bit wordy. Maybe it could be tightened: The film was GDH’s first project to originate from a screenwriter, as the studio traditionally relied on producers or directors for development.
• Mengju tells M she wants a big plot for her death in the hope it causes her family to reunite and collectively attend her gravesite. — This phrasing is a bit awkward. Perhaps you could rewrite to clarify intent: Mengju tells M she wants a large burial plot, hoping it will bring her family together as they visit her gravesite.
• Certain technical aspects, like ...uses narrow apertures and wide shots to increase depth and range of focus. are well-described, but could be slightly simplified for a broader audience. For example: ...uses wide shots to add depth and emphasize the characters' surroundings.
• While quotations from critics add value, they could be introduced more succinctly. For example, instead of In a review for Grazia Singapore, Danisha Liang praised Putthipong's "more-than-convincing portrayal of a coldhearted-to-endearing grandson" and lauded Usha's performance, saying her "sassy—almost feisty—personality and effortless portrayal of a strong woman" was the film's highlight., consider Grazia Singapore’s Danisha Liang praised Putthipong’s convincing portrayal and highlighted Usha's "sassy—almost feisty" presence as the film's standout.
• Perhaps a consistent active voice would enhance readability. For instance, The screenplay was also revised to incorporate social discussion regarding contemporary attitudes on Thai familial society... might work better as Pat and Thodsapon (or "the writers") revised the screenplay to include themes on contemporary Thai family dynamics...

Overall, these are minor nitpicks to an overall well-written article! Great job, and I wish you luck with this article! Nub098765 (talk) 06:58, 28 October 2024 (UTC)

Hi! Did the review in this edit. Thanks a lot for pointing the prose out, the sentences became more concise, but I also have another feedback point I can't fix.

I copied the ...social media trend..., your comment on the plot about the burial plot, and (the writers) revised...

The first GDH production... comment seemed done already when I edited the article. Although I followed your comment on simplifying the wide shots, I kept the "narrow apertures" to somewhat keep a specific. If it's OK, we can remove it once another reviewer agrees to remove the phrase.

For the Grazia Singapore review, this was the result: In a review for Grazia Singapore, Danisha Liang praised Putthipong’s convincing portrayal and highlighted Usha's "sassy—almost feisty" presence as the film's standout. The Philippine Star's Jelou Galang praised the production design and Kraithong's cinematography.

My nitpick is: For those fluent in Thai, may someone translate the references in Thai to English? There are 5 of those. RFNirmala (talk) 01:25, 29 October 2024 (UTC)

Hi @M48SKY and @Nub098765! I was only able to check this PR today. Sorry for my inaction. I tried reading through the article, and I saw some points that may be raised in a GAN. Some points mentioned above still apply. I removed those that we've already resolved.

I have no concern in the content and prose, and the article will still change after November 13. For me, the article looks good! If we can address these, then better:

• You may be specific in currencies, especially in dollars, as seen in MOS:CURRENCY
• What website is void.id? Is it Voice of Indonesia? For wikilinking and verifying this citation (ref49)
• "Outside Asia, the film was a critical success" to "The film was a critical success outside Asia" Done!
• The "In Asia, the film began screening on May 15..." release date aren't still removed.

Thanks for translating the Thai titles and improving the prose. RFNirmala (talk) 03:43, 11 November 2024 (UTC)

Hey, @Nub098765, @RFNirmala, I've updated the citation as you asked and removed the "In Asia, the film began screening..." phrasing. Could you guys help with the curriencies? I'm not well versed in the correct way to format according to the MOS. Thanks! M48SKY (talk) 11:00, 11 November 2024 (UTC)