Wikipedia:Peer review/Hotel Chevalier/archive1

Hotel Chevalier

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This is one of my first attempts at writing a comprehensive article on a fictional topic, so I am interested in getting feedback on any shortfalls. I'm somewhat out of my comfort zone in writing syopsis/plot sections and alt text in particular, so advice on that particularly appreciated. I hope to nominate the article for featured status if all goes well. Mahalo, Skomorokh 15:55, 31 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: I thought I'd take a brief look at this and then perhaps review it later in the day. However, I was immediately drawn in. I suppose this has something to do with the subject matter, but it also has something to do with the high quality of the prose. Nice job. I have only a few suggestions.

The alt text looks fine, and there are no dead links or disambiguation problems.
The images look fine. However, the source link on the license page for the cover-art image doesn't link to the source; it links only to the image. To make it easier for fact-checkers to verify the source, the link should go to the page from which the image was copied.

Lead

"Hotel Chevalier is a short film by director Wes Anderson, released in 2007." - Since Anderson wasn't released in 2007, I'd think about recasting this opening sentence. Suggestion: "Hotel Chevalier is a short film directed by Wes Anderson and released in 2007."
I'd consider splitting the single paragraph in two between "500,000 times" and "Hotel Chevalier".
"The film garnered near-universal critical acclaim, with reviewers praising its richness, poignancy and careful construction, and comparing it favorably with The Darjeeling Limited." - I think it's generally best to avoid using "with" as a conjunction, especially multiple times in the same article. Suggestion: "The film garnered near-universal acclaim from reviewers, who compared it favorably with The Darjeeling Limited and praised its richness, poignancy, and careful construction."

Synopsis

"showing the woman perched against an armoire" - Wikilink armoire?
"After they step out on the balcony together" - Tighten by deleting "together"?

Background and production

"It was shot by a crew of 15 using Panavision film stock" - Wikilink film stock?
"The dialogue exchanged by the characters at the end of Chevalier... ". - Perhaps "between the characters" instead of "exchanged by the characters"?
"is recounted by Schwartzman's characters to his brothers at the close of the feature film" - Should this be "is recounted by Whitman to his brothers... "?
"Portman's character has a brief cameo" - Wikilink cameo?

Release

"A press release posted before the première "the brief coda to a doomed romance and the prologue to The Darjeeling Limited"." - Missing word or words? Perhaps "A press release posted before the première described it as, "the brief coda... "?

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog. That is where I found this one. Finetooth (talk) 20:02, 9 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Ealdgyth (talk · contribs)

You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC. The sourcing looks good.

Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 16:24, 11 January 2010 (UTC)