Wikipedia:Peer review/Holywell, Eastbourne/archive1

Holywell, Eastbourne

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… it is currently rated as Start. A lot of work has since been done.

Thanks, Mikeo1938 (talk) 07:07, 27 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Starstriker7 Comments Hey Mikeo, I took a look at the article. I'm kind of new at this, so you might also want to go ask someone else for aid on the article in terms of peer reviewing. Note that I am looking at the WikiProject Cities United States guideline when I identify with this, but only because I know it fairly well (but much better than the WP:UKCITY guideline). There is sure to be someone at the peer review volunteer listing.

I note that, above all, the history section deserves an expansion. I see two big, big gaps; the one from World War II to present day, and one referring to the history before the reference to William Figg's map. I think that you might be able to find domestic information on the modern history right here on the Internet somewhere, but I think anything on paper would help you much more. If you live in this area, you should check the local library.

Yes, this needs more research but I do not have easy access to reference materials at present.Mikeo1938 (talk) 07:16, 10 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I also see the phrase "most confusingly," which is not something you really want in the article per the "weasel word" guideline.

AmendedMikeo1938 (talk) 07:16, 10 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

In the picture on the left in the "Chalk Pit Cottages" section, I notice how it reads out like this: "All that remains of the cottages at Holywell are some foundations – soon erosion of the cliff will remove this vestige." It doesn't really sound encyclopedic to me, and probably could be improved.

Amended wording. Mikeo1938 (talk) 08:04, 10 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

In the very last section on the Holywell telegraph cable, you could use the reference at the end of every paragraph to show that data was lent from said reference to each block of information.

DoneMikeo1938 (talk) 07:16, 10 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I note other problems with the Second World War subsection; the commonly accepted way of writing it out (at least in the United States) is World War II, I believe; also, I do not think that the map reference needs to be written out completely in this article, but should rather be included somehow into the reference itself.

Second World War redirects to World War IIMikeo1938 (talk) 07:16, 10 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, I know, but the title was not what I meant. I just don't think that raw numbers should appear anywhere in the text if it can be replaced by a word without making comprehension difficult. --Starstriker7(^{Dime algo}_{or see my works}) 22:52, 9 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

OK, Ive moveed the MR to a footnote.Mikeo1938 (talk) 07:16, 10 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The whole article could use a read-through, so necessary wikilinks can be added (Ex. [[World War II]] in the Second World War subsection, [[George V of England|King George]] and [[Mary of Teck|Queen Mary]])

OK - I've added some links but avoided overlinkingMikeo1938 (talk) 07:16, 10 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

New sections could probably be added, even though this is a small region of a larger city. Try Economy, Culture & Media, and Governance, for starters.

It's hard to think of other sections - there is no economy, apart from the school and the water pumping stationMikeo1938 (talk) 07:17, 10 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

That's all I've got for now. You can ask me on my talk page to swing by again. Thanks and cheers, --Starstriker7(^{Dime algo}_{or see my works}) 12:34, 30 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comment A model FA article (or two) is helpful for ideas and examples to follow. There are several English settlement FAs listed at Wikipedia:WikiProject_UK_geography#Featured_articles that would be good model articles. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 03:20, 1 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Your comments

Thank you to everyone who has already commented ... and to anyone else who will be doing so. It's kind of you to read through the article and I will be taking on board the points which you make.Mikeo1938 (talk) 16:35, 1 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]