Wikipedia:Peer review/History of Valenzuela City/archive1

History of Valenzuela City

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for March 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I think there are some instances that we need to review or add to this history.

Thanks, I heart CE! (talk) 14:23, 5 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: I'm glad to see someone adding material about the Philippines to the encyclopedia. I have just a few suggestions for improvement.

I did a bit of light copyediting of the lead and the first section. However, it would be good to have a skilled copyeditor go over the rest of the material as well. I see many small mistakes.
Dates are no longer linked in Wikipedia. I was going to run a script to delink them, but I did not know whether you wanted them to be in d-m-y format, as they are in the "References and further reading" section, or in m-d-y format, as they are in the main text. You can unlink them one-by-one and arrange them in the format you think best.
Instead of a "References and further reading" section, you might want to put the linked items in that list into an "External links" section. The links in "External links" don't need to display access dates; only the in-line citations need those. I would suggest re-naming the "References and further reading" section "Further reading", which at this point would then just contain the one book if you move the other items to "External links".
Many of the paragraphs here are unsourced. A good rule of thumb is to include a source for each paragraph, each unusual claim, each set of statistics, and each direct quote.
I'm sorry I don't have any content to add to the article, but peer review is not really intended for that.

I hope these few suggestions prove helpful. Finetooth (talk) 02:07, 10 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Further Finetooth comment: WP:CITY has a lot of helpful advice about creating articles about cities and towns, and it has links to city articles that have reached good or featured status. These are often good models to imitate. Just the general idea of adding something about climate, transportation, geography, schools, and so on, can be helpful. Finetooth (talk) 16:28, 10 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]