Jump to content

Wikipedia:Peer review/Herbig-Haro object/archive1

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Herbig-Haro object

[edit]

I started this article and would like to see it get to featured status. It's about a quite important type of object in star formation, but it's a bit short-looking at the moment. I could put in plenty more information but am worried I'll be getting over-technical so seek opinions from others on what more this article needs. Worldtraveller 17:53, 30 September 2005 (UTC)[reply]

OK - here we go! (not reviewing on content)

  1. Caption on opening image is nonsensical and should be rewrote for the layman
  2. Intro needs two solid paragraphs, not 3 of mixed length :) Ryan Norton T | @ | C 19:26, 30 September 2005 (UTC)[reply]
  3. "Discovery and history of observations" - paragraphs too short
  4. "Numbers and distribution" - too short. Also, the image caption here is better than the first, but I'd consider rewording this a bit too
  5. "Proper motions and variability" - all paragraphs too short End paragraph too short
  6. "Physical conditions" - almost all paragraphs too short and a one sentence paragraph
  7. "Multiplicity" - too short
  8. "References" - I believe the MoS says that references should be bulleted, not numbered (i could be wrong on this)
  9. "External links" - better description - WHERE is link pointing to? The actual description itself isn't too bad!

Take care! Ryan Norton T | @ | C 19:26, 30 September 2005 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks very much! That's very helpful. I've worked on the caption and intro, expanded discovery and history section a bit and rearranged numbers and distribution a bit. Multiplicity still needs work, and I will probably actually merge it into a section on the stars that drive HH objects. I'll sort the references properly once I've added a few more. As for external links, I'm not quite sure what you're after here? Do you mean you want to see the actual web address as well as a description of it?
Thanks again - Worldtraveller 23:51, 1 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]

For the external link thing instead of just having something like

A catalogue of HH objects

You should describe WHERE the link goes to, like

or

or

Ryan Norton T | @ | C 04:31, 2 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]

With apologies for a slight delay, I've now worked on addressing the various comments. Multiplicity has now been converted into a larger section on the source stars. Does the article make sense to the layman? Is it coherent and is it at all interesting? Thanks! Worldtraveller 11:48, 5 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]

I revised my things above - the intro is quite good (structure-wise) so the two vs. three paragraph thing probably isn't too bad here. Anyway, I did read this and it's fairly interesting but I have to click a whole bunch of wikilinks (nebula, interstellar medium) to find out what's going on. Maybe for the layman give a quickie in parenthases for terms like that. Otherwise, it looks good sans a short paragraph at the end there in "Proper motions and variability". Ryan Norton T | @ | C 15:17, 5 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]

One more thing - "Characteristics" may want an intro. Pretty minor though in the scheme of things and it would probably be a quick two-sentence intro. Ryan Norton T | @ | C 15:30, 5 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not so sure I can really make that short paragraph any longer without unnecessary padding. Will have a think about that. Have altered the structure to remove the need for a characteristics intro (i think), and make the TOC look nicer as well. Altered the text to make the meaning of nebula and interstellar medium clearer, hopefully - just let me know any other terms that need explaining and I'll add that. Thanks! Worldtraveller 15:49, 5 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Peer_review/Herbig-Haro_object/archive1&oldid=1046411823"