Wikipedia:Peer review/Han Duk-su/archive1

Han Duk-su

I've listed this article for peer review because I'm not sure how else to improve it. I think getting extra feedback from more people will help push the article to B-class or even Good Article status.

Thanks, OpalYosutebito (talk) 12:38, 28 September 2024 (UTC)

Thoughts by Generalissima

• Lede seems particularly short; it should be a couple sentences, a brief summary of the article as a whole.
• You have a few uncited claims;
  • Last paragraph of Early life
  • Last paragraph of Imprisonments (also, this should probably be part of the previous paragraph; one sentence paragraphs are generally to be avoided.
  • as well as the co-chairman of Chongryon in 1947 at the end of Formation of Chongryon
  • The sentence ending held the position of chairman of Chongryun until his death in 2001 (this has a CN tag)
• There's a few prose correction's I'd make too, to conform with MoS and such.
  • You call him "Deok-su" throughout the article. For one, I think it might be better to rename the page to Han Deok-su to conform to this; but moreover, it's better to refer to people by their surname (Han in this case) unless they're nobility or you're talking about them in the context of other people with the same surname.
  • I don't think you need Mr. and Ms.
  • Wikilink Tokyo at first use.
  • Use Template:Interlanguage link instead of linking to Korean pages directly.
  • Shouldn't it be Higashiizu? (also, he was in a labor union in a different town than he lived in?)
  • When beginning a new paragraph, don't say "he"; say Han.
  • Wikilink Chongryon and give more context for what it is and what it does.
  • Specify what the Nine Wolseobang is; a bookstore I presume?
• Are there any pictures of early Chongryon meetings or such you could use?
• I was able to find some academic sources which mention him; these should definitely be incorporated for a B/GA level article. These are just English ones; I don't have access to databases for Japanese/Korean academic articles, but if you do, you should search for articles there! These here should be accessible via WP:LIBRARY
  • Kim, M. (2015). How Does Diaspora Mobilization Become a Causal Feature of Structural Change? Journal of Asian Security and International Affairs, 2(3), 266-290. https://doi.org/10.1177/2347797015601915
  • Hasegawa, Kenji, and Kenji Hasegawa. "Postwar Departures and Reversions in Mid-1950s Japan: Chongryon, Okinawa, and ‘Bloody Sunagawa’." Student Radicalism and the Formation of Postwar Japan (2019): 167-212. https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-981-13-1777-4
  • Ryang, Sonia. "The Rise and Fall of Chongryun—From Chōsenjin to Zainichi and beyond." The Asia-Pacific Journal: Japan Focus 14, no. 15 (2016): 1-16. https://apjjf.org/2016/15/ryang

Thanks from Opal

Thanks for the feedback and even the extra sources! I've fixed some of the typos and citations, and I'll be sure to add the extra references once I get an exam done. - OpalYosutebito (talk) 00:56, 5 October 2024 (UTC)