Wikipedia:Peer review/HIV/archive2

HIV

This article was already the subject of a peer review and can be found here. It has undergone significant changes since then, and I resubmit it for peer review so that one day it may join AIDS as a featured article. --Bob 23:58, 21 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and may or may not be accurate for the article in question (due to possible javascript errors/uniqueness of articles).

*Per WP:CONTEXT and WP:MOSDATE, months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.

*Per WP:MOS, avoid using words/phrases that indicate time periods relative to the current day. For example, recently, last year, soon, and last week might be terms that should be replaced with specific dates/times.

*Per WP:MOSNUM, there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 18mm, use 18 mm, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 18 mm.

*Per WP:MOSNUM, please spell out source units of measurements in text; for example, "the Moon is 380,000 kilometres (240,000 mi) from Earth.

*Per WP:MOS#Headings, headings generally do not start with the word "The". For example, ==The Biography== would be changed to ==Biography==.

*Per WP:MOS#Headings, headings generally should not repeat the title of the article. For example, if the article was Ferdinand Magellan, instead of using the heading ==Magellan's journey==, use ==Journey==.

*Please alphabetize the categories and interlanguage links.

This article may need to undergo summary style, where a series of appropriate subpages are used. For example, if the article is United States, than an appropriate subpage would be History of the United States, such that a summary of the subpage exists on the mother article, while the subpage goes into more detail.

*There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view. For example,

- ~~might be weasel words, and should be provided with proper citations (if they already do, or are not weasel terms, please ~~strike~~ this comment).~~

*As is done in WP:FOOTNOTE, for footnotes, the footnote should be located right after the punctuation mark, such that there is no space inbetween. For example, change blah blah [2]. to blah blah.[2]

Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that the it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 2a.
You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions (and the javascript checklist; see the last paragraph in the lead) for further ideas.
Thanks, Andy _t 00:27, 22 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

This is a couple of things I've noticed after quickly looking through the article. I'll read it in more detail later and perhaps add more comments. In general it looks like a very good effort. All my complaints are very minor.

1) Is this repetition in the intro: "WHO estimate that AIDS has killed more than 25 million people" and two lines down "current estimates say that about 28 million people have died"?

2) This sentence in the "Introduction" section is confusing: "This viral DNA is then integrated into the cellular DNA for replication using cellular machinery." It could be misread to mean that the DNA is integrated using cellular machinery.

3) This sentence seems redundant: "CD4+ T cells are white blood cells that are required for a properly functioning immune system." In general that paragraph requires revision to reduce repetition.

4) Genetic variability of HIV: subtypes of the M group are commonly referred to as clades, I think you should mention that.

Peter Z.^Talk 00:29, 22 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

1) Fixed

2) True, fixed.

3) The whole paragraph, I thought, is redundant, removed.

4) True, the term clade has been introduced.

Thanks --Bob 00:45, 22 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

As Andy suggests, it can be improved by removing excessive links to solitary years. In this article, there is only one unnecessary date link to remove: '1983'. For those that want to address this issue for many articles, a monobook tool allows this to be done with one click on a 'dates' tab in edit mode. You can then accept or reject the changes offered and/or do more editing before pressing 'Save'. Simply copy the entire contents of User:Bobblewik/monobook.js to your own monobook. Then follow the instructions in your monobook to clear the cache (i.e. press Ctrl-Shift-R in Firefox, or Ctrl-F5 in IE) before it will work. bobblewik 17:25, 22 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Bob 22:30, 22 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. You are doing great work. bobblewik 10:02, 23 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Great article! Congrat! I haven't found any faults (I have microbiology exam in two days...). Why are images so small? In my opinion, it can go to FAC. NCurse_work 07:46, 26 June 2006 (UTC)[reply]