Wikipedia:Peer review/Glengoyne Distillery/archive1

Glengoyne Distillery

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for December 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've worked on the article to bring it from this to the current revisions and would like help getting the article assessed.

Thanks, Cabe 6403 ^{(Talk•Sign!)} 02:55, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Casliber

Gawd, these never arrive at a good time! Article is pretty short.

References always come at the end of a sentence or after a comma.

No need to link really gnereric things like nineteenth century, keep it for rare/specific things.

It is reputed to be the most beautiful distillery in Scotland. - erm..by who? Bit peacocky. Needs to be neutral-sounding.

Need to talk about the products produced. Are they highly rated? Have they won awards? How does the taste compare with other whiskeys?

Once some more comprehensiveness issues are dealt with, the prose can be worked on. I noted some stuff but have to run now. More later. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 06:59, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I just thought of what I wanted to say - the idea of writing to avoid peacocky terms is that a reader shouldn't be able to tell what the writer thinks of the whiskey. It should sound as if they are neutrally reporting other sources positive comments. Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:07, 26 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Problems fixed

Cabe 6403 ^{(Talk•Sign!)} 18:00, 29 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Update - much much better. Make sure all the images have proper fair use templates. I am too tired to do much tonight but I know someone who will. I need to sleep! Cheers, Casliber (talk · contribs) 14:32, 4 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comment by Doncram

The article is interesting and useful and generally well-written.
The use of footnote references in the introduction is jarring, particularly when the footnotes appear mid-sentence. The idea of a lead paragraph or section is to provide overview, and can be entirely footnote-free, with following sections providing the detail and the footnotes. In fact, I think there should rarely be anything in the intro that is not developed elsewhere.

Hope this helps! doncram (talk) 11:29, 14 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Reworded the lead section as per Glane23's suggestions - Cabe 6403 ^{(Talk•Sign!)} 17:47, 24 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Glane23

How about this for the lead -

Glengoyne Distillery is a whisky distillery continuously in operation since its founding in 1833 at Dumgoyne, north of Glasgow, Scotland. Glengoyne is unique in producing Highland single malt whisky matured in the Lowlands. Located upon the Highland Line, the division between the Highlands and Lowlands of Scotland, Glengoyne’s stills are in the Highlands while maturing casks of whisky rest in the Lowlands. Unlike many malt whisky distilleries, Glengoyne does not use peat smoke to dry their barley, but instead favours the use of warm air.

add back the footnotes elsewhere in the body of the article and adjust the body to flesh out the lead facts accordingly
Is there a cite for the location of the stills on the Highland side of the fault line and the cask aging/storage on the Lowlands side? I think that's an intriguing fact, which is why I put it in the lead.

Citation 6 which links to this site backs up this fact. It is possible to derive the location of the stills and the warehouse from the following sentence "The Highland Line, which divide Highland from Lowland Scotland, actually splits the distillery in two, thus Glengoyne is distilled in the Highlands and matured in the Lowlands" - Cabe 6403 ^{(Talk•Sign!)} 17:47, 24 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think the award information belongs in the body of the article.

Moved the award information into the products section - Cabe 6403 ^{(Talk•Sign!)} 17:47, 24 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers! Geoff ^T ^C 18:25, 14 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the help!

- Cabe 6403 ^{(Talk•Sign!)} 17:47, 24 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]