Wikipedia:Peer review/Generation Swine/archive1
I've done a complete re-write of this article and hope it qualifies as a featured article. All facts are referenced, and I've worked hard removing POV and incorrect statements from the page. Darwin's Bulldog 03:52, 27 December 2006 (UTC)
- Some areas that may need addressing:
- The lead is only two sentences and a little bit more should be included. Probably the results of the album, or the most popular single, just something else.
Avoid using "the" in headers per WP:MOS- The first sentence is a bit confusing and is a run-on sentence.
- The paragraph beginning with "Musically, the album shows Mötley Crüe" seems unsourced and possibly WP:OR. It's a bit critical, and critical information should always be backed up by sources.
- Citation 4 seems to be the citation for the above suggestion, but I'm not exactly sure what citation 4 is supposed to be.
In the lawsuit section, the citation should always be after a period or sentence. I would just include both the citations back to back following the first paragraph, and leave the citation 6 in after the last paragraph.- The Personnel section is at an awkward place, it should probably be above the track listing and be bulleted.
References should go before the Crüe infobox, band infoboxes and categories always go at the bottom of the page.- The infobox could use more professional reviews. The more reviews, the easier it is to get a ranking of how it was accepted critically.
- A well-sourced section including the compilations of critical reception could be beneficial to the article. Reading the article, it seems like the album did not do well, so I think it could be backed up with a section on it.
Those are my suggestions, improving on them should help the article.++aviper2k7++ 00:47, 28 December 2006 (UTC)
Hi, I've done some tweeking as suggested. Citation 4 is a reference to most of the music being written while Corabi was in the band, as said in the album's liner notes. Darwin's Bulldog 09:55, 28 December 2006 (UTC)