Wikipedia:Peer review/Far Eastern University Institute of Nursing/archive1
I've listed this article for peer review because this is quiet a new article, and so am I. I've read some university-related articles here but I still don't see if there's a standard in such type of articles. Editing this article, Far Eastern University Institute of Nursing, by others (peers I guess) would be of great help, I hope that responses would be unbiased, discriminative and offensive like I read in some articles before. I just wanted to improve this article, and to ask others what they think of it, and what the article needs (to improve on, to add more information on something, etc.).
Thanks, Aldrinv
Aldrinv (talk) 11:11, 26 November 2007 (UTC)
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Thanks, APR t 02:46, 29 November 2007 (UTC)
- one of the top performing nursing school ; one of the best Master's program-- need plurals: schools, programs. Also you need to cite extravagant praise like that. Who says it's one of the top, by what standards?
- Backed up by its new Dean; Annabelle R. Borromeo, RN, Ph.D, CNS - "new" makes it more of a current events piece than an article that can be read equally well 50 years from now. Is Borromeo somehow more important than the half dozen others? Also why give the degrees in the lead? Most deans have degrees.
- Previous Deans of the Institute of Nursing - if they were all deans, how can #3 be first dean of the Institute of Nursing?
- ANNABELLE REYES BORROMEO, RN, PhD, CCRN, CNS, CPAN - again, seems to be a section about the person rather than the school. She obtained her Master of Science in Nursing Degree from the University of Texas Health Science Center in Houston, Texas ... she moved from staff nurse, unit teacher, head nurse ... not that relevant to the school, this is supposed about the school, right? And don't use all capital letters for a person's name, the section heading is sufficient.
- Her leadership skills were soon recognized; Her life’s mission is to teach, motivate, and inspire. - Please cut down the puffery.
- Because of the consistent and sterling performance of nursing graduates - more puffery. This can be cited by actual numbers, so cite the numbers. Say that this is the best result among the 18 schools surveyed by test X in 1998 or whatever, and give a reference to a reliable source. I think there is more like that in the article, making it like a press piece. Try to write the article objectively, as if this were one article out of a dozen on nursing schools.
- Move the lead image to the right, otherwise the lead section is squashed and the table of contents is in the middle, looking awkward. --AnonEMouse (squeak) 15:14, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
I have to agree with AnonEMouse; most of the text about Dr. Reyes Borromeo is extraneous to this article. I would take it out. Also the mission statement and anything else that (hint, hint) is either a copyright violation or, if not, then an adaptation which the school might find objectionable. That leaves not much information about the school itself. Re the History section, some questions occur to me: Why was the school founded? What was its expected role and how does that differ from its actual role? Eg, was the school intended to train only women but now is co-ed? Or vice versa? --Una Smith (talk) 04:18, 21 December 2007 (UTC)