Wikipedia:Peer review/Elon Ganor/archive1
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because Elon Ganor is a friend of mine so I would like feedback to make sure it meets wikipedia's standards.
Thanks, Jeffpulver (talk) 21:02, 16 November 2013 (UTC)
Suggestions generated by an automatic JavaScript program
[edit]Suggestions generated by an automatic JavaScript program
Suggestions generated by an automatic JavaScript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.
- Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.[?]
- Consider adding more links to the article; per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (links) and Wikipedia:Build the web, create links to relevant articles.[?]
- As done in WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space in between. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2][?]
- Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]
-(t) Josve05a (c) 23:10, 22 November 2013 (UTC)
Comments from LT910001
[edit]Thanks for your edits to this article. It's very interesting to read. I have a few comments that you may take or leave at your behest:
- Early life could be fleshed out a bit more
- This article would benefit from a general copy-edit from a second pair of eyes. WP:ISRAEL or WP:COMPANIES may have a willing participant for this.
- A source is missing for the early life section.
- This article contains a lot of bracketed content, which is impacting on readability. If content is notable enough, it should be included in prose - if not, then deleted or put in as a footnote.
- This article is an orphan article, so consider finding another appropriate article and linking to the page from there.
I wish you well on your wiki-travels, and hope this advice is useful (although it is mostly stylistic in nature). Kind regards, --LT910001 (talk) 13:33, 10 December 2013 (UTC)