Wikipedia:Peer review/Elderly Instruments/archive1
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I have exhaustively researched the subject of this article and am trying to get it ready for FA status. I would appreciate comments on prose, comprehensiveness, and any other issues you spot.
Thanks, Laser brain (talk) 04:01, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
I've never done a peer review, so sorry if this isn't the right format.
- Feedback
- shorten lead section
- Shortened. --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
- avoid marketing terms like "seminal"
- Removed. --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
- passing mention in New York Times article shouldn't be treated as if the article was about the company
- I removed the section in the lead about it and just mentioned that Elderly is mentioned in the Times, later. --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
- would help article if notable musicians who have purchased instruments from this store could be found and emphasized
- I have not found anything other than anecdotal information about famous musicians at Elderly. Nothing verifiable, mostly guys saying, "Oh yeah, I remember this one time I saw Elvis Costello there." Will keep looking though. --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
- publications cited seem to be local -- any state, national or international recognition?
- Actually, only a few are local. I cite Detroit newspapers, which are state-wide, and several nationally and internationally circulated trade and music journals. --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
- nice clear writing style
- Thanks! --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
- Factoids I found
- Elderly was a sponsor of Michigan's 2001 National Folk Festival.[1] [2]
- There's a video here.[3]
- Elderly is a dealer of Deering banjos [4]
- Elderly sells or sold bodhráns [5]
--Edibility (talk) 14:36, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
- I've addressed most of these issues except as noted above - thanks very much! --Laser brain (talk) 14:37, 5 March 2008 (UTC)