Wikipedia:Peer review/Dream Theater/archive1

Dream Theater

This failed as a GA article, so let's see how we can improve it. One thing was it mentioned citations. The problem is many of the places where citations are needed are not listed on the web, a lot are in liner notes of Ytse Jam albums, since that's where MUCH of the history of DT has been listed. I also edited all the one sentance paragraphs and combined them into others.Splent 01:28, 17 July 2007 (UTC)

• The DTFAQ.com links are dead, you should find an archived version of these links, I've found this DT FAQ it might be helpful too.
• I don't think that the The Awards and certificates section's "(Source: search for "Dream Theater".)" part is an acceptable reference, you should do the search and place the result page as a reference.

The problem with this is the riaa website is not set up where you can accurately link a search page. The site comes up as http://www.riaa.com/goldandplatinumdata.php?table=SEARCH_RESULTS. I ended up just linking to the RIAA main page.Splent 01:14, 18 July 2007 (UTC)

• The references are really needed, there are looong parts, numerous paragraphs without any reference, and because of this the article is far from GA, you should Google those liner notes, maybe they're on a fan site or something. If you can't find them or wouldn't like to spend time with finding them you can refer to the liner notes, read how to reference liner notes. Gocsa 09:43, 17 July 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the suggestions, I'm currently adding some more citations in regards to some of the facts in the article.Splent 01:12, 18 July 2007 (UTC)

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

• Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006.^[?]
• As per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (dates), dates shouldn't use ^th; for example, instead of using January 30^th was a great day, use January 30 was a great day.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally should not repeat the title of the article. For example, if the article was Ferdinand Magellan, instead of using the heading ==Magellan's journey==, use ==Journey==.^[?]
• Per WP:WIAFA, this article's table of contents (ToC) may be too long- consider shrinking it down by merging short sections.^[?]
• There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view.
  • some people sa
  • might be weasel words, and should be provided with proper citations (if they already do, or are not weasel terms, please strike this comment).^[?]
• Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
  • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
• The script has spotted the following contractions: didn't, if these are outside of quotations, they should be expanded.
• As done in WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space in between. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2]^[?]
• Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.^[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, DrKiernan 14:12, 26 July 2007 (UTC)