Wikipedia:Peer review/Don't Stop the Music (Rihanna song)/archive1

Don't Stop the Music (Rihanna song)

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I plan to take it to a featured article candidate process, however, before that, I would like to assure that the prose is polished and satisfies the high standard the encyclopedia uses for it.

Thanks, — Tomíca^(T2ME) 21:10, 11 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from WikiRedactor

You'll have to correct these external links.

I removed all the dead links, however, the tool must be broken as it shows the 7 digital references as dead, however, the function perfectly!

You'll need to add in some alternate text for these pictures.

Done

My understanding is that the United States should be abbreviated "U.S." instead of "US".

It's a preference. I prefer to use US, instead of U.S., nothing wrong with that.

When you mention the Billboard component charts (ie. Hot Dance Club Songs in the introduction), I think it would be helpful to specifically identify them as Billboard component charts for the unfamiliar reader.
- No, you would just say "on the U.S. Hot Dance Club Songs chart", you wouldn't say the word "component". — ₳aron 23:12, 11 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I added Billboard in front of Dance Club Songs.

"Reception and accolades" can be renamed "Critical reception" to follow suit with similar articles.

Done

I personally prefer the title "Commercial performance" over "Chart performance"

Done

"Other versions and covers" can be more concisely titled "Cover versions".

Done

"Radio and release history" is redundant, "Release history" alone will suffice.

Done

For consistency, I would like to see the references in "Radio and release history" placed in a separate column like they are for the Jamie Callum version.
I'd like to see consistency in the way iTunes Store and Apple are treated in the references, different sections of the article use different varieties.
On that same token, the MTV websites should be listing Viacom as its publisher.

- @WikiRedactor: I did a separate column and removed all the publishers. Lately, they are considered very unneeded. — Tomíca^(T2ME) 22:24, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  - While consistent use (or lack thereof) is not a GA requirement, FA's do need "consistently formatted inline citations". I've seen lots of removals lately throughout articles, often performed by script. Snuggums (talk / edits) 22:32, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

WikiRedactor (talk) 21:30, 11 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the comments. — Tomíca^(T2ME) 00:08, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from SNUGGUMS

Lead

"features a wide variety of rhythmic devices"..... various rhythmic devices
Grammy nomination is worth mentioning
Given its success in the UK, I'd probably add its gold certification and sales (looking at the certifications list, it's the highest sales figure given aside from US)
"Rihanna performed 'Don't Stop the Music' at the 50th Annual Grammy Awards and the NRJ Music Awards in 2008 and included it on the Good Girl Gone Bad, Last Girl on Earth, Loud and the Diamonds World Tour set lists" is a bit lengthy. Probably best to split awards and tours into different sentences.

Done all

Development and release

"approved the demand without prior contacting Dibango" should be either "previously contacting Dibango" or "contacting Dibango beforehand".
"released to digital outlets in some territories on May 14"..... give some specific names

Done

Composition

"Throughout, it features a wide variety of rhythmic devices used mainly in hip hop music" → "Various rhythmic used mainly in hip hop music are featured throughout the song".
Remove the comma after "Slant Magazine"

Done

Critical reception

Six reviews doesn't seem like very much for such a well-known Rihanna song

That's all I could find, there is no much mention of the song (Sadly) or other reviews of the album are dead links now

Is "Hot Press" a reliable source?

Yes it is. It's used in other FA's too.

Per MOS:QUOTEMARKS, ′ should be ', and ″ should be "

I am not sure whether I could understand you here?

Fixed it here Snuggums (talk / edits) 23:23, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"noted" from "He noted that 'Don't Stop the Music' is the best single" should be "felt" or "wrote" per WP:ATTRIBUTEPOV
Beyoncé Knowles → Beyoncé

Done last two

Commercial performance

"Only" from "It became only Rihanna's second song" isn't really needed
Include dates for the song's sales/certifications from the UK, Australia, and New Zealand.

Done

Music video

It would be better to have a video screenshot than a photo of Prague

Do you have an idea what part of the video is worth of ascreenshot ?

Probably her dancing in the club, as it best shows her as a "queen of the clubs" that VH1 mentions Snuggums (talk / edits) 23:23, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

When was the video shot?

No info

I don't think "NYU Local" is considered FA-worthy, seeing to it that this is a news blog run by college students

Replaced it

No commentary from Anthony Mandler or Rihanna herself?

Not that I could fine :/

Surprising Snuggums (talk / edits) 23:23, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Aside from VH1's "Sexiest Videos" ranking, there are no reviews of the video..... major problem

Unfortunately, I could only find that, if you have time can you please look on the Net?

I'll see what there is Snuggums (talk / edits) 23:23, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

"major" from "her first major world tour" isn't needed

Removed

"held in Rockfeller Center, New York City" → "held at the Rockefeller Center in New York City"

Done

No commentary for any of the performances? It's not a requirement to have this for all of them, but at least things like her tours should include it.

Searched, no success

I'm not convinced "Toronto Sun" is reliable

Removed/Replaced it

Cover versions

"to which Rihanna positively reacted"..... awkward phrasing, and it would help to include a quote and/or commentary

That was not even in the source, I removed it

Jamie Cullum version

If possible, try to use something other than a YouTube link for Cullum's video release

I searched, no results sadly

References

As FA criterion 2c requires "consistently formatted inline citations", I'd remove publishers because most references in this instance don't include them
Only the first reference to a work should have its name linked in refs (i.e. Digital Spy should only be linked in FN18, The New York Times should only be linked in FN21)

Removed all the publishers

FN16: "Daily News" should read "New York Daily News"
FN23: "Toutelatele.com" → "Toutelatele"
FN37: Shouldn't ARIA be included in some form for the title?
FN39: Remove "Charts.org.nz", and I have a feeling that "Top 40 Singles" should read Recording Industry Association of New Zealand
FN42: Shouldn't this read Official Charts Company?
FN105: "Billboard.biz" → Billboard
FN129: Should read Musiikkituottajat – IFPI Finland
FN119: "Snep" → "SNEP"

Done except for the chart references which are generate the references themselves.

Not a bad article overall, but needs brushing up before going for FA. Snuggums (talk / edits) 01:35, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the comments @SNUGGUMS:! Please check my responses. — Tomíca^(T2ME) 22:31, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

You're welcome, looking better now :). At the moment, my main concern is comprehensiveness. Let's see what turns up. Snuggums (talk / edits) 23:23, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@SNUGGUMS: I added a screenshot. It would be nice to have more information about the video, however, it can still be a FA. Having the fact I helped "Rehab" being promoted (which is smaller), I don't see a problem here either :). — Tomíca^(T2ME) 23:54, 12 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Screenshot looks very nice :D. Something "Rehab" has that I would search for is (at least) commentary from those involved with the video. In the "Rehab" article, there's a quote from co-star Justin Timberlake. It might take some extra research, but aim for things like that. Maybe I'll end up finding something on my own, though this is headed in the right direction either way. Snuggums (talk / edits) 00:11, 13 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Snugi. This and this could be useful, if the sources were reliable :/. Any chances you found something? @SNUGGUMS: — Tomíca^(T2ME) 11:38, 14 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No, not yet :/ Snuggums (talk / edits) 13:25, 14 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'm really skeptical about sources existing :/. Except from unreliable sites like those I pointed above. — Tomíca^(T2ME) 13:32, 14 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Quite a shame Snuggums (talk / edits) 14:06, 14 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from HĐ

You should avoid apostrophe after quotation marks (i.e. "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'"'s sample)
I am skeptical about the importance of the music video's screenshot. Either way, the file needs a more appropriate non-free rationale.

— HĐ (talk) 13:35, 14 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Aaron

There are a lot of dead links that need removing/replacing (They don't actually work for me). See here.

There is something wrong with the web checker. Those links work perfectly fine. — Tomíca^(T2ME) 11:48, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

They don't for me: https://www.7digital.com/artist/jamie-cullum/release/dont-stop-the-music-1?origin=1317 — ₳aron 11:55, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

https://se.7digital.com/artist/rihanna/release/dont-stop-the-music-remixes/ how about this one ? — Tomíca^(T2ME) 12:00, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Nope, says page not found. — ₳aron 12:01, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

:O How's possible? It shows this for me. Can you try and go manually see if it will be found on the Swedish 7 digital? — Tomíca^(T2ME) 12:03, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

This works if I physically look for it, but those links above don't work for me — ₳aron 12:06, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

It's now available in the UK store, try the Swedish or other one. — Tomíca^(T2ME) 12:11, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]

It was written by Tawanna Dabney and Michael Jackson together with its producers StarGate. → I think it's a bit misleading to imply Jackson wrote it when he is only credited because of the sample. He didn't actually write "Don't Stop the Music" during the recording process, and as such had nothing to do with it apart from giving permission.
Are you sure StarGate is meant to have a capital G? It's not stylized as such on Stargate (production team).
received critical acclaim from music critics with many of them → Comma after critics
Link Interpolation (music) in the lead
Lead: First paragraph uses sample, second paragraph uses interpolation. They are two different things, so to use both is a bit confusing.
number four, number three, number one etc. need hyphenating throughout (number-one)
Try to avoid too much repetition, like in Commercial performance of "the song": The song stayed on the chart for overall period of 27 weeks. The song charted at number 12 on the 2008 year-end Australian Singles Chart and After seven weeks on the chart, the song the reached its peak of four.[43] In July 2013, the song was certified gold.
I don't think songwrintg and production need linking in Credits and personnel. Either to all of them or none of them.
won the accolade → accolade isn't appropriate in this sense. Award is better. You'd use accolade for "She has gained several accolades"

— ₳aron 11:35, 16 March 2015 (UTC)[reply]