Wikipedia:Peer review/Deftones/archive1

Deftones

I've listed this article for peer review because I've been involved with this article for a while, and would mainly like to know what issues need resolved for GA-class. In the past year, I've provided some citations and notable content to expand sections, and also had this article copyedited last November. I got caught in other projects for a while, but now I find that I can just put this on PR to see exactly how much work it needs.

Thanks, dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 23:26, 1 August 2016 (UTC)

Comments by Bruce1ee

Lead

• The 2nd occurrence of "Abe Cunningham": no need for "Abe".
• "It showed a transition away from the band's earlier nu metal sound; rather, it transitioned into a more experimental direction of alternative metal": to avoid repetition of "transition", how about: "It showed a transition away from the band's earlier nu metal sound and into a more experimental direction of alternative metal".
• "Its completion was also delayed by Moreno's drug addictions and the dissolution of his marriage, and its material was also influenced by these events": suggest something like: "Its completion was delayed by Moreno's drug addictions and the dissolution of his marriage, which also influenced the album's material".
• "in 2010 and 2012, respectively": no need for the comma.

All  Done.

Early years (1988–1993)

• When did the Cunningham interview take place – I presume it was some time after the band was formed?
• When was the band formed? The band is referred to twice ("that allowed the band to purchase equipment", "the band acquired Chi Cheng in 1990") with no mention of when it was formed.

I knew this might prove problematic. The band's early history is obscure; but I have an idea of how to fix it. I think I might model Powderfinger's method for members. dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 21:27, 2 September 2016 (UTC)

Adrenaline (1994–1996)

• "Teething" is referred to as a "non-album track". Was that an outtake?
• "The album spent 21 weeks on the Billboard Heatseekers chart, reaching a peak position of 23": when did peak?
• "in recognition of ... units sold" is repeated twice in the same sentence. Do you need to even say how many units were sold – surely "gold" and "platinum" is sufficient?

White Pony (2000–2002)

• "An interview with the band ...": this paragraph repeats the word "explained/ing" four times.

 Done

Saturday Night Wrist (2006–2007)

• "Abe Cunningham": no need for "Abe" here.
• "there were tensions involved with the recording of Saturday Night Wrist": suggest replacing "Saturday Night Wrist" with "the album" because only in the next paragraph is the album's title revealed.

Eros sessions and Cheng's car accident (2008–2009)

• The last paragraph is unsourced.

Diamond Eyes (2010–2011)

• "most likely due to the entire album having been leaked onto the Internet": is this speculation, and by whom? This statement isn't sourced.

References

• There are a several of deadlinks, and ref 35 (http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:4CuccbCrM8sJ:database.cd/ha20c880c/+deftones+white+pony+%22nightrider%22+%22pink+maggit%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=3&gl=us) needs to be formatted.

Overall

• s'/s's (eg. Deftones'/Deftones's): the article should use one or the other, not both.
• Quotes more than 40 words should be blockquoted.
• Check whether picture captions should end in a period or not: see MOS:CAPTIONS
• Check caps for band names starting with "The". See WP:BANDNAME ("The definite article at the start of a band name should be lowercased in running prose").

This is just a content review – I haven't checked any of the sources. Overall a nice and interesting article, and I don't think too much more work is required to take it to GA. —Bruce1ee^talk 10:34, 2 September 2016 (UTC)

@Bruce1ee: Is that all you have for me? No complaints, it's just your edit summary said "initial comments" and I'd like to know anything else before archiving this and starting another PR. Really, this is just a to-do list for me before I nominate it, and this has been open two months today. dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 02:18, 2 October 2016 (UTC)

Sorry, I'd forgotten about this one. I'll have a look at it again – give me a couple of days. —Bruce1ee^talk 07:00, 2 October 2016 (UTC)

I've had another brief look at it, and I don't have anything to add. There are still several points I raised above that haven't been addressed yet, but they are just suggestions, and it's up to you as to whether you feel they need attending to or not. —Bruce1ee^talk 08:29, 3 October 2016 (UTC)

Thank you, Bruce1ee. These suggestions are useful and I will resolve the remaining things before submission to GAN. dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 20:25, 7 October 2016 (UTC)