Wikipedia:Peer review/Comanche/archive1

Comanche

This article has undergone a great deal of really quality improvement since its appearance on Articles needing attention several months ago. I feel it is ready for a review in order to hear suggestions on improvements. KillerChihuahua 18:51, 2 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]

Lots of good stuff there, but like much writing on Native Americans, it essentially locks its subject matter in the past: most of this article could fall under the heading "Comanches in the 19th century". More information on the people in the present, and over the last 100 years, is needed, as well as letting readers know which parts of the "culture" section refers only to traditional culture, as opposed to current practices. --Kevin Myers | (complaint dept.) 13:31, 4 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much for your response and insight! I had thought that myself, but have been uncertain how best to address it. I was thinking of creating a Comanche nation article, and making it more clear in the article intro that the article Comanche was about the historical Comanche people. This would address the issue without making the current article even longer. Of course any modern or current content would be moved to the new article. I would appreciate feedback on that idea. KillerChihuahua 13:59, 4 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]

Very good article. Few comments: it could benefit from an image & description of their villages/camps (eg. the layout, organization, locational decision, etc.). I agree with Kevin Myers above that the history is not balanced, it needs more 20th century discussion. The "Culture" section could use a small re-organization. This section is very long compared to the previous one. It could have the Childbirth/Raising Children/Coming of Age/Marriage/Death sub-sections form their own section about their lifecycle. Even Clothing/Hair and headgear/Body Decoration could form another section about their dress. Anyways, whatever is chosen try to avoid sections without any text (like "Culture"), use that area to bring the main points of sub-sections together so the reader has an initial picture in their head about what is about to be discussed in detail. --maclean25 19:22, 15 December 2005 (UTC)[reply]