Wikipedia:Peer review/Brothers Grimm/archive1

Brothers Grimm

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I substantially rewrote in a short period it for the Core contest. Eventually I'd like to submit to FAC, but would appreciate another set of eyes first.

Thanks, Truthkeeper (talk) 00:05, 30 March 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Yomangani's comments

Bit busy, so this won't be comprehensive and will probably jump about randomly:

It needs a copyedit: there's partial rephrasing ("and rewrote with the intent of having the stories an accurate reflection of German culture", "causing some of the more grim details have been sanitized", "the 1937 release of Walt Disney's version of "Snow White" as a color animated feature film in the production Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"), lack of variation in the vocabulary ("...often published in English as "Grimms' Fairy Tales"), was published in 1812", "with their tales Charles Perrault's tales", "illustrators. Successful 19th century children's book illustrators ... illustrated", the whole paragraphs on spinning and collecting the legends) and some awkward exposition (In the 20th century educators debated...).
Rackham and Dulac are 20th-century illustrators (with regard to Grimms' Fairy Tales at least)
The "Reception and legacy" section is a little confused. "In Japan, like in the US, the tales have spawned two theme parks" Really? Are these some Grimm World parks that I haven't heard of? Disney's Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella also probably owe more to Perrault than the Grimms. "Other stories, however, have been considered too gruesome and have not made a popular transition....Regardless of the debate, the Grimms' stories have continued to be resilient and popular around the world" Make up your mind.
I'm sure this should be at "The Brothers Grimm" rather than "Brothers Grimm" despite Wikipedia's revulsion for articles (of the definite/indefinite type)
"Little Red Riding Hood", shown here in an illustration by Arthur Rackham, became identified as a uniquely German tale. The Grimms' version might have become so in Germany, but it isn't quite as general as implied here.

More later, if I get time. Yomangani ^talk 00:24, 2 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Yomangani for taking the time. I lost perspective and needed another set of eyes - good points your raise. I'll need a few days to get to these. Truthkeeper (talk) 00:50, 2 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

After stepping away for a few days, I've swept through and cleaned up a lot of the mess. Thanks for pointing it out - I could have used a copyeditor here. I think I've addressed your comments above, and also thanks for taking the time to read and respond. Truthkeeper (talk) 21:54, 4 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]