Wikipedia:Peer review/Born This Way (Glee)/archive2

Born This Way (Glee)

Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because I would like for it to meet the FA criteria. It has previously been put up for peer review, but was left unanswered. Like the last time, I would like some feedback on the article. I will try and make these changes, but feel free to make the changes if I haven't addressed them.

Thanks in advanced, DAP388 (talk) 02:12, 25 May 2011 (UTC)

Akcvtt's comments

• Lead
  • "The episode is a tribute to Lady Gaga" -- Is this accurate? The episode is clearly named after one of her songs, but the episode itself does not appear to be a tribute in the same way that "Theatricality" was.

I agree that it doesn't give tribute in the same way as "Theatricality" does. But it does give tribute to her in some way, as the episode plot generally reflects the message that is intended to be seen in Lady Gaga and her song. DAP388 (talk) 23:14, 31 May 2011

• Plot
  • While it's implied why Rachel wanted to get her nose job, it isn't really explicitly stated. Stating that it is one of her insecurities may clarify the plot context for readers unfamiliar with the show.
  • "...after noticing him checking out Sam" -- "checking out" its a bit too casual. Perhaps "showing interest in Sam" is better?
  • "that drove Kurt from McKinley and the glee club" -- It may be helpful for readers unfamiliar with the show to clarify that McKinley is the name of the school.
  • "Karofsky issues an apology to Kurt at a group meeting involving Will, Principal Figgins (Iqbal Theba), and their fathers." -- Whose fathers? Will's and Principal Figgins'? Needs rewording to clarify whose fathers were at the meeting.
  • "amongst the girls like Lauren." -- Confusing. Perhaps "amongst girls who share the same insecurities as Quinn"? From the rest of the plot description, it seems as if Lauren isn't actually insecure and that the other girls were identifying with Quinn's former insecurities, not Lauren's.

Working on it. DAP388 (talk) 23:14, 31 May 2011

• Music and performances
  • "Sandra Gonzalez of Entertainment Weekly stated that she loved the song choice" -- "song choices" (plural)?

 Done DAP388 (talk) 23:14, 31 May 2011

Overall, this article is well-written, especially the Reception section. Nicely done! Akcvtt (talk) 23:36, 29 May 2011 (UTC)