Wikipedia:Peer review/Ben Ricciardi/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because it is a new page.
Thank you, MarkDaddy (talk) 16:52, 15 May 2017 (UTC)
- MarkDaddy Dear Mark, some thoughts on the article below:
- Notability - the article has two sources. Which is good, in that it's better than none. But whether that meets the requirement for significant coverage in reliable sources is debatable. I'm not sure two cites represents significant coverage, and I'm not sure that the sources, which appear to be close to promotional/advertorial blogs, are wholly reliable sources. He must be one amongst thousands of advertising executives in LA - do they really all warrant articles?
- Article Talkpage - The Talkpage shouldn't be a mirror image of the article - it's the place where the article can be discussed.
- Inline citations - You need more of these, lots more. The Biography section has one. Does that one source really cover all the information in the section? As an example, I don't see that Source 1 supports the claim that he worked with John West, although Source 2 does. That's why they should be inline, relating to the fact they're supporting.
- Too close paraphrasing - you need to be careful about too close paraphrasing. As an example, the second section reads thus; "Times10 is a full-service creative agency based in Burbank, California. It primarily targets youth culture and has worked with clients in the sport, music, fashion and hospitality industries. Among their client roster include adidas, James Harden, Pharrell Williams, Rae Sremmurd, Jason Derulo, and Popular Demand". And the second line of Source 2 reads thus, "Times10 is a dynamic full service creative agency based in Burbank, CA that targets youth culture in a positive and authentic way. Their clients include or have included adidas, Popular Demand, James Harden Vol 1, Pharrell Williams, Rae Sremmurd, Mike Will Made It and Jason Derulo." That's pretty close!
- Grammar - "Among their client roster include adidas, ..." - that's not English. Either, "Their client roster includes adidas,..." or "Among their clients are adidas,..."
- Declarations - I've no idea as to the motivation for creating the page, but have a read of the article on Conflicts of interest. If you have a connection with the subject of the article, personal or professional, paid or unpaid, you need to declare it. This is so readers are aware of the editor's connection to the subject when they read the page.
- Hope these suggestions are helpful, welcome to Wikipedia, and good luck with the editing. KJP1 (talk) 14:34, 29 July 2017 (UTC)