Wikipedia:Peer review/Battle of St. Michaels/archive1
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This peer review discussion is closed. |
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to get it to Good Article.
Thanks, TwoScars (talk) 19:32, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
Comments from Gerald Waldo Luis
[edit]Looks like a decent GA-worthy article, with a couple of things to add and fix. Rarely go through war-related articles, so forgive any mistakes. This is one of the few war articles where I can actually follow through, so good job with this. On the other hand if you mind, can you also put suggestions in my PR of To Fly!? It'll help a lot. GeraldWL 07:52, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
Miscellania
[edit]- Not all images seem to have alt texts.
- Protip: use this tool to automatically archive references, did it for you here (although it doesn't always work).
- This article needs consistency on St. Michaels: St. Michaels or Saint Michaels?
- Fixed to all "St." except "Saint Michaels Patriotic Blues" and the Wikimedia link. TwoScars (talk) 13:36, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- First mentions of city names should be followed by the state, e.g. "Baltimore, Maryland".
- Worked around that. TwoScars (talk) 17:31, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- "a.k.a." --> "also known as".
- Made change. TwoScars (talk) 17:31, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- Suggest removing the Refbegin template in Further reading, as there's only one source.
- Removed begin and end TwoScars (talk) 17:52, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]- "was a small skirmish"-- what determines "small" here?
- Changed to small battle after reviewing definition of skirmish. TwoScars (talk) 17:52, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- "(later named Miles)"-- there's no mention of this in the article body. I would suggest putting this next to "Saint Michaels River" at the "Disposition" section, then put a citation there to support the claim of renaming.
- Added a footnote in that section with two citations. First, the GNIS—then an explanation of the cause of the change. TwoScars (talk) 17:52, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
Background
[edit]- "Members of the Democratic-Republican Party" --> "On the other hand, members of the Democratic-Republican Party".
- Made change. TwoScars (talk) 19:02, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- "when ships were sent to close the port of New York" --> "when ships were sent to close the Port of New York and New Jersey".
- Port of New York and New Jersey was created in 1921, while the date of this battle is 1813. Source does not mention New Jersey. TwoScars (talk) 17:45, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
- "Havre de Grace, Maryland"-- link Maryland.
- Already linked in second paragraph.
- "Washington" --> "Washington, D.C."
- Made change. TwoScars (talk) 18:03, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- Link Siege of Washington and Burning of Washington, capitalize "s" "b" and "w".
- Siege of Washington was a Civil War Battle in North Carolina in 1863. Added link for Burning of Washington. TwoScars (talk) 18:03, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
Opposing forces
[edit]- Link West Indies.
- Linked. TwoScars (talk) 20:33, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- After "HMS Marlborough", move the ref 11 to the end of the next sentence ("regiment.[12]"), then remove the ref 12 at the Marlborough sentence.
- Reference 11 (Morriss) covers the first sentence. Reference 12 (Sheads) dropped from first sentence, but covers second sentence that mentions eight ships and 45 barges. TwoScars (talk) 20:41, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- "Marlborough" "Chesapeake" and "Leopard" must be italicized.
- Made sure ship names are italicized, but "HMS" or "USS" not italicized. TwoScars (talk) 20:41, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- "Royal Navy"-- link to said Royal Navy?
- Made wikilink TwoScars (talk) 20:44, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- The paragraph states three batteries, but the bulleted list says two?
- Added explanation TwoScars (talk) 20:44, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- "two regiments, cavalry"-- is that two calvary or one?
- Clarified TwoScars (talk) 20:44, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
Disposition of forces and movement to battle
[edit]- Link Annapolis, Maryland.
- Linked. TwoScars (talk) 20:48, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- Link Maryland's Eastern Shore.
- Linked. TwoScars (talk) 20:48, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- Remove ref 24 after "Talbot County" as it's duplicate.
- Need a citation that the British caused alarm, and also need a citation that Easton was the largest town—so citation is not "duplicate". TwoScars (talk) 20:54, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- Unitalicize "Saint Michaels Patriotic Blues".
- Unitalicized Saint Michaels Patriotic Blues and Talbot Volunteer Artillerists. TwoScars (talk) 20:54, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- Link deserter.
- Wikilinked TwoScars (talk) 20:54, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
Battle - Fighting Ends
[edit]- "where it could fire" --> "where it would fire".
- Sentence is "The three men were able to re-position one gun, loaded with ball and canister, where it could fire effectively on the British." It is correct. All of the guns could fire, but they were positioned wrong because the British surprised them from the flank side. TwoScars (talk) 21:03, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- "less than half a mile"-- any specific number?
- No. Source says "within less than a half mile of the town." TwoScars (talk) 21:03, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- "By 9:00 am"-- timezone?
- All events took place in Maryland. There is no need to specify timezone—all times are local time. TwoScars (talk) 21:05, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- Benson or General Benson?
- Already introduced as Brigadier General Perry Benson, so his rank is omitted unless other officers are mentioned. TwoScars (talk) 21:07, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
Aftermath
[edit]- "William Merchant's "Cannonball House" in 2021" --> "William Merchant's "Cannonball House" (pictured 2021)"
- Made change. TwoScars (talk) 21:15, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- "a failure—and the excuse given was that" --> "a failure, with the reason being that"
- Made part of the change. TwoScars (talk) 21:15, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- "We know that Benson's report said"-- remove the "We know that" as unnecessary and first-person.
- Dropped "We know that" and replaced with "However,
- "Cannon overlooking harbor at St. Michaels in 2021" --> "Cannon overlooking harbor at St. Michaels (pictured 2021)"
- Made change. TwoScars (talk) 21:15, 20 December 2021 (UTC)