Wikipedia:Peer review/Battle of Pell's Point/archive1
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for January 2009.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have expanded it drastically in the past few hours and I want to see what people think of it. I welcome any suggestions as to how to improve the article further.
Thanks, Kieran4 (talk) 23:21, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
- I think it's a very well written article. I just wish we could find a picture for the page. I looked on the internet, but I couldn't find anything. Bernstein2291
- Overall quite improved. Here are some recommendations. 1) Spellcheck, spellcheck, spellcheck. I notice spelling issues in many of your articles and additions... including here. Make use of a spellchecker. 2) Needs external links section. 3) I'd recommend some additional (and better) sources, although your citations are fine, and better than most articles (although see #6 below). I honestly believe that quality of sources will be primary issue if you intend to push this forward to an A-Class article. 4) Needs a few pictures. Even if it's ones of some commanders, should have 'em. 5) Style. I recommend checking Hlj's pages here (albeit for U.S. Civil War) for guidelines on Names, Ranks & Units. His work is great, and I've been making use of his MoS myself in American Revolutionary War articles. 6) Your refs should be in the style of "Eicher, p. 251." - not "McCullough p.290". 7) Get regiment names/order of battle for both sides, use in article and link out to articles where possible. 8) Lastly, and quite minor, I'd create a stub for the redlinked historian in "Aftermath" section. I hope that you find this feedback useful in improving this article. Alphageekpa (talk) 10:49, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
It's a significant improvement over where it was in November, well done. Issues:
- Spellcheck (2 typos in the lead, at minimum). Copyedit. "bottled up" -- not encyclopedic.
- Action sounds like tactical defeat, strategic victory.
- Definitely needs a map. one possibility, another, another, shows Pell's Point. (BPL has great maps.)
- "The British waited a half hour before attacking." Presumably there was a reason. (It may not be in the cited source.)
- "Glover moved his force to Yonkers." This sounds like a retreat to me -- he is facing a vastly larger force, yes?
- You never say "Harlem Creek" or "Harlem River". You say GW is worried about being trapped on Manhattan. Why is "going from Harlem to White Plains" getting GW out of the trap?