Wikipedia:Peer review/Baker Street robbery/archive1
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The Baker Street robbery is an event that has a separate identity to the reality of what happened. So many rumours circulate (the government issued a D-Notice to gag the press; one of the safety deposit boxes contained compromising photographs of Princess Margaret and the actor and criminal John Bindon; photos of a Conservative cabinet minister abusing children were found; no-one was arrested and no money was recovered). All utter tosh, but they squeezed a film out of it and when the Hatton Garden safe deposit burglary took place, immeditate parallels were made. This has been through a re-write recently and the aim is to take it to FAC, unless major flaws are spotted. Any constructive comments are warmly welcome. - SchroCat (talk) 21:02, 26 September 2019 (UTC)
Gog the Mild
[edit]I am copy editing as I go. Mostly trivial stuff, so chuck out anything you don't like the look of.
- "These have been dismissed or there is no evidence to support them" Which implies that some have been dismissed even though there is evidence to support them.
- "A member of the local security company alerted the gang of the timings." I don't understand this. The timings of what?
- "What they did not know was that there was an old well under where the tunnel ended,[24] and the pressure of the jack pushed the bottom of the tunnel downwards, rather than raising the vault's floor." You don't describe that well enough for me to visualise it. Eg, if a well is a cylindrical cavity, why was it a problem?
- "to the tapes, and they confirmed that they thought it" "the tapes ... thought it".
- "Abdullah Hashan Gangji (age 67) and his nephew Ackbar Mohammad Ali Gangji (age 22)" Why, of all the people mentioned, do these two have their ages given?
- "a cheque for £2,500 to thank him for his action" Maybe 'actions'?
And that's all I have. A fine, well-structured tale. I look forward to supporting it at FAC. Gog the Mild (talk) 14:54, 11 October 2019 (UTC)
- That's great - thanks very much Gog. All suggestions adopted. Cheers - SchroCat (talk) 22:03, 11 October 2019 (UTC)