Wikipedia:Peer review/Ala (Hala)/archive1
Reviewers who like mythology and folklore may find the subject interesting and give me suggestions how to make this article as good as possible. Thanks in advance. VVVladimir 18:25, 22 July 2007 (UTC)
The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.
- The lead of this article may be too long, or may contain too many paragraphs. Please follow guidelines at WP:LEAD; be aware that the lead should adequately summarize the article.[?]
Done Now it is shorter and divided into two paragraphs. VVVladimir 23:17, 4 August 2007 (UTC)
- The lead is for summarizing the rest of the article, and should not introduce new topics not discussed in the rest of the article, as per WP:LEAD. Please ensure that the lead adequately summarizes the article.[?]
Done I removed the additional, somewhat less relevant information. VVVladimir 23:17, 4 August 2007 (UTC)
- Consider adding more links to the article; per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (links) and Wikipedia:Build the web, create links to relevant articles.[?]
Done This time, I was quite liberal with links. VVVladimir 23:17, 4 August 2007 (UTC)
There may be an applicable infobox for this article. For example, see Template:Infobox Biography, Template:Infobox School, or Template:Infobox City.[?] (Note that there might not be an applicable infobox; remember that these suggestions are not generated manually)- Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006.[?]
Done I have a question here: dates so linked in the 'accessdate' field of the 'cite web' template are shown in the double brackets on the article page; is this an error in the software? VVVladimir 23:17, 4 August 2007 (UTC)
- Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally should not repeat the title of the article. For example, if the article was Ferdinand Magellan, instead of using the heading ==Magellan's journey==, use ==Journey==.[?]
Done VVVladimir 23:17, 4 August 2007 (UTC)
There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view.- Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
- Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “
Allpigs are pink, so we thought ofa number ofways to turn them green.”
- Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “
Done I kept two some's, one several, one many and two any's, which, IMHO, is not much for the size of the article. I suppose we cannot totally banish these words. VVVladimir 23:17, 4 August 2007 (UTC)
- Avoid misplaced formality: “in order to/for” (-> to/for), “thereupon”, “notwithstanding”, etc.
Done VVVladimir 23:17, 4 August 2007 (UTC)
- Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]
Copy editors, your suggestions are welcome! VVVladimir 23:17, 4 August 2007 (UTC)
You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, DrKiernan 14:27, 26 July 2007 (UTC)