Wikipedia:Peer review/Ada Wong/archive1
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The article was originally written by a prolific editor, Niemti, before being rewritten entirely last year by myself and HopalongCasualty. JokEobard has copyedited and improved the article a lot further, and it feels like I want to push more, so I am looking for someone who is good at organizing, summarizing, and spotting errors in an overwhelming number of sources. I'm hoping to improve this article, maybe even further, like FA (I am aware this is very tough). The article may need to use different opinions on what's missing and anything that seems unclear to an outside reader. MOS idea came from an FA article Jill Valentine. Many thanks 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 07:30, 4 July 2024 (UTC)
Aoba47
[edit]Unfortunately, I will not be able to commit to a full review of this article, but I still want to help out where I can. I do remember this character mostly for the red dress, which I do enjoy even though it is silly. My comments are below:
- I would start the article with a clear sentence about the game she was introduced in before getting more into the finer points of the production history. I think that would provide a clearer foundation for readers. I would look at how it is done in the Jill Valentine article. I think that starting with the pseudonym part right away could be a bit jarring for readers. Done attempted
- I would introduce Leon S. Kennedy with a clearer descriptor rather than just "protagonist", and I would add one for Ethan Winters. These would be helpful for readers who are unfamiliar with the games by providing clearer descriptions of who these people are. Done attempted
- I would be mindful of single-word quotes, such as "shady". With that quote in particular, it is unclear who is saying that so make sure that quotes are clearly attributed in the prose to avoid any unnecessary confusion for the reader. Other instances of quotes without direct attribution in the prose are "mysterious masked person" and "conflicting scenarios". I would also be more mindful of quotes in general and look for areas where the information could be paraphrased instead. attempted
- I would look through the prose and structure for the "Concept and design" section in general as I think it could flow a little better. I think it comes across a bit choppy in its current form and that would be better ways to tie things to get together to form a more cohesive narrative for readers to follow and get a better understanding of the character. attempted combining them
- I would re-examine how scholars and authors are introduced with descriptors. I do not think that it is particularly helpful to put the full title of the book in the prose, as done with Unraveling Resident Evil: Essays on the Complex Universe of the Games and Films and Immersion, Narrative, and Gender Crisis in Survival Horror Video Games. I would also avoid having the college name, such as Université de Montréal, as these positions can change. I find it more helpful to focus the descriptors on the person's area of expertise if known or something simple like "author" or "scholar" if it is not known. Done attempted
- For this sentence, (According to the article "Female Representation in Video Games", women have long been included in video games and Ada's outfit and conduct were visually stereotypical.), I'd attribute the name of the authors rather than the article's title. Done attempted
- I appreciate that you included scholarly sources here. I have not done any research into this character so this could likely be all the scholarly/academic coverage, but just as a suggestion, I'd make sure to thoroughly look through places like Google Scholar and Google Books so that an exhaustive search is done.
- Reception sections are always difficult to write so it may be useful to consult WP:RECEPTION as a resource for this. I think the prose for this section could use some more work prior to a FAC.
- It would be helpful to expand on the praise of Ada being the best Asian female video game characters. Added a bit more like Jill's
- Were there any positive reviews for Lily Gao's performance or the changes to Ada in the remake? Couldn't find anything somehow other than negative reviews
- For the Japanese citations, the titles will need to be translated into English. In the past, I have used the |trans-title= parameter in the citation for this. Done
- I would be consistent with whether or not the citations use title case for the titles. I would also make sure to italicize game and film titles in the citation titles per MOS:CONFORMTITLE. I was honestly only made aware of it rather recently, and while it can be a pain, it is important to make sure that citations are formatted consistently and to the best that they can be for readers. Done
- I would be consistent with how works/websites are linked. IGN seems to be linked on each instance, but there are several citations, such as ones Siliconera and Bleeding Cool, that are not linked. Done
Apologies for not being able to do a full review, but I hope that these comments are still helpful. Let me know if you have any questions or comments about anything. You could try reaching out to other editors who have worked on fictional characters on the FA level, although that is admittedly a small group. I intend to work on more character articles in the future; they are my favorite part of Wikipedia and are likely the reason why I stayed on this site as an editor for so long. Best of luck with the peer review, and I hope you are having a great week so far. Aoba47 (talk) 16:06, 4 July 2024 (UTC)
- Many thanks for your detailed review. I will try to work as much as I can if its possible before reviewing the entire article and moving to the next step. I am very glad you didn't retired entirely and push through to that Kes' article. Hope you're havong great day also! 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 18:29, 4 July 2024 (UTC)
- I am just glad that I was able to help at all. I am always happy to see more character articles in the FAC space (or at least being considered for a FAC). Thank you for the kind words. I am very proud of my work on the Kes article, and I am glad that I stuck through the process. Aoba47 (talk) 22:06, 4 July 2024 (UTC)
- About "I would also make sure to italicize game and film titles in the citation titles per MOS:CONFORMTITLE", I'm surprised that a lot of games or movies title wasn't italicized in Jill Valentine's article (Update: I italicized it by myself now). About the scholar, I'm having hard time to check whats reliable or not sadly; but ill check what I can do. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 11:29, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
- I was not aware of that aspect of the MOS:CONFORMTITLE while doing the Jill Valentine FAC. It was only something that I was made aware of recently during a FAC review (i.e. in the last year or two I believe). For that reason, I think that it would not be present in most of the FAs that I contributed to. I do not think it is a major issue, but I still wanted to point it out just in case. I can understand the difficulty with judging source reliability. It took me a while to get a better understanding of it myself. Feel free to ask me if you have any questions about it. Just to be clear, you could have already exhausted the scholarly sources on this character. I have not checked myself, but I think that it is always worth double-checking before a FAC. Aoba47 (talk) 18:15, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you for addressing my points above. I have made some edits to the article (as shown here) and feel free to revert anything you disagree with or if I have accidentally introduced any errors. Apologies if this is over-stepping on my part. As a quick note, I think the part on the red dress is a bit confusing. The first time it is mentioned in the article is about it being covered up for the remake. The outfit itself should be introduced and discussed with the reader first to give context for it. Aoba47 (talk) 18:43, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
- Tysm, its not actually "over-stepping" since it would be very much worst at FAC if this was actually sent. I'll see what I can do. Again, thank you for the help! 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 20:08, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
- No worries. I am just glad to help out when and where I can. Apologies for accidentally deleting a citation in my edits and thank you for catching that and putting it back in the article. Aoba47 (talk) 20:15, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
- No need to apologize, you were the one who actually helped me. While I really doubt that I can pull this through, I'll try to do what I can hehe. About the pseudonym stuff, I attempt to find a book or scholarly source just for that because it feels like thegamer/valnet sources will be recommended to be removed at FAC. Many thanks for the help again. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 20:23, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
- @Aoba47 I just added three scholar sources, and I believed there's nothing more valuable that I could find. Its Heroic Girls as Figures of Resistance and Futurity in Popular Culture (New), Feminism in Play (which was already sourced), and The Playful Undead and Video Games: Critical Analyses of Zombies and Gameplay (taken from Jill's article). I have no idea where to put it, including the grammar (which I felt a bit awful); I think I have disorganized the reception section now but will see what I can do. What do you think? 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 03:51, 7 July 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you for the ping. I would look through other character articles (and video game articles as well) to see how they incorporate scholarly sources and get inspiration that way. No need to feel bad about the grammar. Revision takes time. Apologies again for not being able to help further with this review. I am just taking a small break from reviewing for a bit. Best of luck with it. Hopefully, other editors will help with this peer review. Aoba47 (talk) 12:43, 7 July 2024 (UTC)
- No need to apologize and thank you for the detailed review; it actually helps! I'll see what I can do at reception and the sfn stuff at sourcing. Take care! 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 12:47, 7 July 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you for the ping. I would look through other character articles (and video game articles as well) to see how they incorporate scholarly sources and get inspiration that way. No need to feel bad about the grammar. Revision takes time. Apologies again for not being able to help further with this review. I am just taking a small break from reviewing for a bit. Best of luck with it. Hopefully, other editors will help with this peer review. Aoba47 (talk) 12:43, 7 July 2024 (UTC)
- No worries. I am just glad to help out when and where I can. Apologies for accidentally deleting a citation in my edits and thank you for catching that and putting it back in the article. Aoba47 (talk) 20:15, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
- Tysm, its not actually "over-stepping" since it would be very much worst at FAC if this was actually sent. I'll see what I can do. Again, thank you for the help! 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 20:08, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
- About "I would also make sure to italicize game and film titles in the citation titles per MOS:CONFORMTITLE", I'm surprised that a lot of games or movies title wasn't italicized in Jill Valentine's article (Update: I italicized it by myself now). About the scholar, I'm having hard time to check whats reliable or not sadly; but ill check what I can do. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 11:29, 6 July 2024 (UTC)
- I am just glad that I was able to help at all. I am always happy to see more character articles in the FAC space (or at least being considered for a FAC). Thank you for the kind words. I am very proud of my work on the Kes article, and I am glad that I stuck through the process. Aoba47 (talk) 22:06, 4 July 2024 (UTC)
UC
[edit]Commenting by invitation, though I have no real experience with video-game articles. Most of what follows is therefore MoS and clarity. UndercoverClassicist T·C 08:20, 11 July 2024 (UTC)
- After seeing significant issues, I really doubt if I can still pull it through, but I will try whatever I can. Thank you very much for the detailed review! 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 08:24, 11 July 2024 (UTC)
- Although Ada is often hired by antagonists, she has betrayed her employers for her own agendas and saved protagonist Leon S. Kennedy from dire situations: works of fiction are written about in the present tense. As phrased, this means that she betrayed her employers and saved the protagonist only before the start of the games' plot. Is that correct? No, it happens in the game. Im struggling to reword and it seems kinda fine.
- game developer Kazunori Kadoi randomly came up with the name "Ada",: not sure about randomly did X as encyclopaedic language. Simply "came up with" or "proposed" would work -- unless he actually used a random-name generator or something similar? Reworded
- resulting in her being the only main character omitted from its cinematics: we said a moment ago that she was a supporting character. removed it
- In the 2019 remake of Resident Evil 2, their relationship is more intimate as they kiss earlier in the game: I'd look at this one for prose. The "as" doesn't quite sit right with me: it doesn't follow from the fact that they kiss earlier that their relationship remains more intimate. Reworded
- Ada dressed like a femme fatale in a seductive red dress. Her revealing red dress: not sure about the adjectives here. From the picture, it looks like a fairly normal dress? Reworded
- Co-director Kazunori Kadoi: was he a co-director in the first paragraph? He's a director; Reworded.
- The title screen for "Separate Ways" was inspired by the 1990 film La Femme Nikita, Ada is shown in the same pose as the lead character Nikita in the movie’s poster: punctuation: semicolon or colon after La Femme Nikita, commas around the second Nikita. Done
- For the 2023 remake of Resident Evil 4, the developers has replaced Ada's red qipao by a red, woolly jumper to change her shady and sexualized persona, including her red dress to distance her to a Dragon Lady trope, a stereotype of Southeast Asian women: a few copyedit issues here:
- Amend replaced, with and from in order.
- Was the dress always a qipao? If so, I'd say on first mention.
- shady and sexualized persona: we talk about this a bit, but I'm not happy that we've really established it. Are any of the developers, or any reviewers, on record as applying this kind of label? Removed
- Likewise on the "Dragon Lady": is this something that developers or commentators brought up? If so, we should quote or reference them. Done
- completing three individual character scenarios: what's an individual character scenario? Reworded
- Li had trouble speaking in English: I think we mean trouble speaking English. Reworded
- Non-English text should be in the relevant language templates: for the Spanish ("Las Plagas", "Los Illuminados"), you can set
|italic=no
. I'd also suggest translating the latter. Done - the Far North: the Russian Far North might be clearer. Done
- She did not return in the final film: present tense. What's behind the apparently? Removed "apparently"
- director Johannes Roberts found it difficult including too many characters in the: this needs another look for prose. I think we mean to say something like Roberts believed that including her would mean that there were too many characters in the film. Reworded
- She was chosen as the returning female character from the game series to contrast Claire Redfield's role in the previous installment, Resident Evil: Degeneration (2008).: as written, this implies that only one female character could return, which seems odd. I removed it, aswell as the source for being possibly a low-quality source.
- Ada is a playable character in several non-canonical Resident Evil games: can we name some? placed "two"
- a feudal Japan-inspired design: endash here per MOS:DASH. Done
- Ikiteita Onna Spy Ada: Japanese? Use a transliteration template if so. Done
- Critics said that she was not oversexualized in her initial appearances, and cited her as an example of the series' female characters who were not judged solely by gender.: see above: I think there's a bigger issue here as to how we handle this matter, but at present this seems to be contradicted by the rest of the paragraph. removed
- in the mold of Simone de Beauvoir's existentialist philosophys: philosophy, but I must admit I'm not seeing the connection here. removed philosophy, thou I feel it should stay
- The Guardian staffers praised: I would cut staffers here (it's very American, and the Guardian uses a lot of freelance writers). removed
- Platz wrote that Ada possesses attributes "typically associated with males" including strength and intelligence, : I hope she came up with something slightly better than this to argue that the character is genderfluid -- as we have conveyed it, this is incredibly misogynistic. reworded a bit, but it is really worded like that at the book.
- director Shinji Mikami's female roles: female characters, I think. Done
- the submissive woman-femme fatale character couple: endash, and lang template (throughout) for femme fatale. Done
- Authors of the journal also said that women have long been included in video games: this seems a bit trivial, but we've presented it as somehow a matter of opinion or as something contentious. Which journal? Ended up removing it
- Professor Bernard Perron: MOS:HONORIFIC: don't give titles like Professor, Dr. etc. Done
- Ada
, a playable character in Resident Evil 6is cited by author Simon Bacon as: cut as marked: we've established this. If Bacon specifically mean Ada's portrayal in Resident Evil 6, say as much. I just omitted this book since its not what Simon directly said this kind of stuff, but sourced other books - According to what they mentioned: I don't understand this. According to Bacon? I just omitted this book since its not what Simon directly said this kind of stuff, but sourced other books
- Generally speaking, "author" and "authors", used without qualification, means "novelists". I would use something more like "critics", "commentators" or "reviewers" when you mean "people who write about video games". Removed and replaved
- the game allows players to embody Ada: as with a comment above, this isn't a matter of opinion, so we shouldn't portray it as such. I just omitted this claim/book since its not what Simon directly said this kind of stuff, but sourced other books
- particularly for gamers who identify as female: why not female gamers? Done
- feminist media critic Anita Sarkeesian: I do see the point of feminist in this particular context, but it's a little uncomfortable given that we haven't introduced anyone else by their ideology, and we've just handled several explicitly feminist readings of the material. moved
- stilted and unnatural—at times completely devoid of emotion"—: cut the second endash. Done
- and couldn't help but wonder whether her English-language voice actor: couldn't help but wonder is not good for an encyclopaedia: "speculated as to whether..."? reworded
- Sources that cite merchandises about Ada include: don't do this and follow with footnotes. I would simply work out the smallest number of these citations you need to prove the point, and give them as a multi-cite or as a bundle. Done
- I think we could -- and should -- include much more of the Reception section in the lead. there's nothing more to say I think, since her reception was about her being portrayed as femme fetale and was subjected to male gaze by dozens of critics.
@Boneless Pizza!: Just a random comment, but have you researched DLC reviews of the Resident Evil 4 Remake? There might be comments that contrast old comments involving Ada's sexualized look kinda like how Capcom changed Jill Valentine's skirt. Just a small sentence might be worth mentioning.Tintor2 (talk) 22:11, 11 July 2024 (UTC)
- I tried, but it seems to me that only a Polygon source is valuable. If you can spot something, feel free to show here. Many thanks 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 22:53, 11 July 2024 (UTC)
Comment from Damien Linnane
[edit]- I'm not sure why its important to mention criticising the voice actress in one game only in the lead; how a single voice-over was received doesn't strike me as something that's important to the character overall. I'd reword it if you keep it though. "She has also received unfavorable reviews" - No she didn't. Her voice actress received unfavourable reviews.
- Removed 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 11:17, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
- "and gradually develop a relationship" - 'relationship' is pretty ambiguous; can you be more specific? I note the following sentence clarifies they kiss, but that still doesn't leave someone who hasn't played the game with much to work with. (Believe it or not I've only played Resident Evil 4 and 5!)
- Removed, reworded, added another content and structured the paragraph 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 11:17, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
- "he believed that expediting the kiss ..." - so just to clarify, the kiss was expedited? Because the previous sentence only stated it was "suggested" the kiss be sooner. If the suggestion was implemented, I suggest you clarify this somehow.
- Reworded 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 11:17, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
- "said that director Shinji Mikami's" - this is the first mention of the director in the article, but he's introduced as if the reader already knew who the director was.
- Replaced into Resident Evil and moved this one one to reception section per other user concern below' 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 11:17, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
- "Ada dressed in a red dress and high heels" - I think that's a poor choice of words. Ada didn't choose how she dressed, the game designers did. I'd say 'Ada was given a red dress and high heels' or something similar.
- Thanks for the suggestion. Reworded 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 11:17, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
- "In "Separate Ways", she uses a grappling gun for combat and traversal." - Place this at the end of the other content about Seperate Ways. Don't start talking about the 2023 remake and then go back to Seperate Ways afterwards.
- It's already at the end of the 3rd paragraph. I tried the info to be specific RE2–remake–Re4–remake. I may be wrong/confused 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 11:17, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
- Oh, I didn't notice that. No worries at all then. Damien Linnane (talk) 12:33, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
- It's already at the end of the 3rd paragraph. I tried the info to be specific RE2–remake–Re4–remake. I may be wrong/confused 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 11:17, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
- More comments coming soon. Feel free to reply to or address these ones in the meantime though. Damien Linnane (talk) 10:33, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you for the detailed review. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- 'the fictional documentary "Ada's Report"' - I think what this report is needs to be explained better.
- Reworded 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- "Ada is a playable character in two non-canonical Resident Evil games" - I'd clarify which ones and how she appears. In Jill's article it says something similar, but then goes on to clarify what the appearances in non-canonical games are - I.e "numerous Resident Evil mobile games, and is the protagonist of Resident Evil: Genesis".
- I'd try and give some clarification on how she appeared in other games as well. I.e its great to clarify that she appears as a playable character in one games, and as an alternate skin in another, but how does she appear in the others? Done
- There are no links for the games Knives Out (2017), Puzzles & Survival (2023), and State of Survival (2023). If it is likely that a page will never be made as the games are not notable enough, consider whether you need to mention them at all, and if you do, maybe mention something about what the game is and how she appears in it. At the moment it's just an unhelpful list of names. If it helps, at Jill Valentine, instead of listing the names of the several un-notable mobile games she appeared in, we instead said she appeared "in numerous Resident Evil mobile games", then added the several different games as sources. Done
- "Li Bingbing's performance as Ada was criticized by Chinese audiences" - how was it criticised? The following sentence only mentioned criticism of the character not being given enough development, which is not a criticism of the actor's performance, but rather just the film itself.
- Deleted 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- That's all from me. Damien Linnane (talk) 13:05, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
- The starting sentence at 3rd paragraph at reception kinda turns me off, but I couldn't think something somehow on what to put thats why. Thank you very much for the review! The article's quality wouldn't be here if Jill Valentine didn't. So yeah, it was heavily inspired from that article. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 13:09, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
Comments from PanagiotisZois
[edit]I'm not sure if I'll be able to do a full review. One thing I want to discuss is the "Concept and design section". One thing to talk about is exactly how the section is structured.
- The section begins by talking about her creation in Resident Evil 2. That's great. It shows us what the original concept for the character was. But then, the next paragraph discusses Ada and Leon's relationship in RE2, before going on to discuss their relationship in the REmake 2.
- Then we get this quote from a digital media scholar which doesn't really have any bearing on how Ada was designed. I'm not saying there isn't a place for that sentence in the article, but it's probably not here.
- After that, there's a discussion over her attire in RE2, then how it was changed in the remake, then a discussion over the Ada/Leon ship in Resident Evil 4, then a discussion over her attire in that game, then her involvement in that game's remake.
Overall, this section's first three paragraphs need a lot of revisiting. There's constant jumping back-and-forth from one thing to another. We have two games and their remakes. There's also a discussion of Ada's conception, her attire, and relationship with Leon.
You're gonna have to decide if you want to talk about these games based on order of release - RE2, then 4, then 6, then the remakes - or if you'll have the remakes being discussed alongside their originals; RE2 & Remake, RE4 & Remake, and then 6 and Village. I do think that's better. Taking that into account, you should at least have the sections follow a thematic order. Like, the paragraph that talks about RE2 & its Remake only, discusses Ada's creation and inclusion in the game, then only her attire (original and remake), and then her relationship with Leon (original and remake). Unless you want to talk about all three of these things in the original, and then talk about the remake.
Same goes for the section on Resident Evil 4. Lastly, while there is a lot of information regarding Ada's creation and inclusion in RE2, there's no information over her inclusion in RE4. When during development did Capcom decide to include her? Whose idea was it? Was she always going to have the role she does now? Why wasn't Separate Ways in the original release of the game on the GameCube? If possible, these aspects of Ada's development should be included. Of course, if you have done research and have been unable to find anything, that's all right. Sometimes, sadly, such information just isn't available anywhere. Irregardless, my previous comments over the sections structure remain.PanagiotisZois (talk) 12:12, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
- Hi @PanagiotisZois.Im quite surprised after dealing with concerns above; you came here at the right time hehe. Anyway. I already attempted to "structure" the paragraph properly. About her inclusion in Re4, that would be difficult to find information; I'll try to find if I can (thou, without assurance yet). For the "Seperate Ways" gamecube, it feels like it should be at the RE4 article only not here. Many thanks for weighing in =) 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 12:28, 14 July 2024 (UTC)
Hey PanagiotisZois Aoba47 UndercoverClassicist Tintor2 partial reviewers. I'm almost gonna send this articld to FAC with JokEobard just in case you guys still have concerns. Many thanks! 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 23:08, 15 July 2024 (UTC)
Something else that I think needs to be addressed is the lede. There's zero discussion concerning Ada's "Concept and design" material. At least one paragraph should be dedicated to that. It does not need to cover everything, but at least some details should be there.--PanagiotisZois (talk) 10:36, 21 July 2024 (UTC)
- PanagiotisZois We were following the format at Jill Valentine since that article doesn't have concept info either, but I added tidbit [1]. Thanks!
Thank you for the ping. I have some comments below:
- I would re-examine this sentence: (Ada was given a red dress and high heels.) In its current form, it is unclear who gives Ada the dress. I understand and agree with Damien Linnane's concerns with the previous wording, but this still would benefit from revision. Do we know anything about who designed the character, etc.? That would seem like a better way to introduce this part. Even something like "Ada is shown wearing a red dress and high heels" would be better. Done
- I have not played the game, but is "Ada's Report" really a documentary? It would seem more like unlockable videos or something like that. Done
- I would avoid having four citations or more (as done in the "Reception" section). I would recommend citation bundling to avoid any concerns with citation overkill.
- Pending 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- As I have mentioned above, the "Reception" section starts with a broad statement about her being one of the most popular and best Asian female video game characters, but it would be nice to get some further context on this. The following sentence jumps to a completely different topic.
- Attempted 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- Apologies as I should have been more specific. The added part focuses on her popularity, but for the focus on this sentence is more on her popularity as an Asian female character, and I was wondering if further context could be added to that. Aoba47 (talk) 13:47, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Gahh, not sure what to do here. i couldn't find more info about Ada being Asian aside from a mini info from this source [2](Not sure what to say either). 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 13:59, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you for the clarification. I find the prose to be slightly misleading then as I thought there was more importance to clarifying that she was "the most popular and best Asian female video game characters" (and I added the italics there for emphasis) and that this distinction was discussed further in the sources provided. If her being Asian is not something discussed in these reviews, I would remove it to just have "the most popular and best female video game characters" as that seems more representative of the sources. Aoba47 (talk) 18:15, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Aoba47 Thank you for the recommendation. I already removed it. About bundling citations, I cannot bundle a source that is already been used somehow (I'm having trouble with it). I did ask at Teahouse for help; but got no response yet hehe. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 23:17, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- It is possible to bundle citations including ones that you've already used previously in the article. I cannot remember how to do so off the top of my head, but I am sure someone can help you with that. Aoba47 (talk) 23:31, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Aoba47 Thank you for the recommendation. I already removed it. About bundling citations, I cannot bundle a source that is already been used somehow (I'm having trouble with it). I did ask at Teahouse for help; but got no response yet hehe. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 23:17, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you for the clarification. I find the prose to be slightly misleading then as I thought there was more importance to clarifying that she was "the most popular and best Asian female video game characters" (and I added the italics there for emphasis) and that this distinction was discussed further in the sources provided. If her being Asian is not something discussed in these reviews, I would remove it to just have "the most popular and best female video game characters" as that seems more representative of the sources. Aoba47 (talk) 18:15, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Gahh, not sure what to do here. i couldn't find more info about Ada being Asian aside from a mini info from this source [2](Not sure what to say either). 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 13:59, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Apologies as I should have been more specific. The added part focuses on her popularity, but for the focus on this sentence is more on her popularity as an Asian female character, and I was wondering if further context could be added to that. Aoba47 (talk) 13:47, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Attempted 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- I would look through the "Reception" section in general further as I am not sure if it is up to the prose standard for a FA. Here are some issues I noticed at a glance. Remove "Meanwhile" from this part, (Meanwhile, Jenny Platz opined), as it does not work in this context, and Andrei Nae would need a descriptor in front of them to introduce them to readers. The first Stephanie Jennings sentence is missing an opening quotation mark so what is being quote is unclear. I just think that this section in general needs more work.
- It has opening quotation mark "gazing through, with, and at her as a woman—or as a practiced feminine gazer." But, I Attempted to reword the next sentence and also waiting for the copyguild to potentially copyedit it. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- Apologies for that. I thought I double-checked, but I must have missed it somehow. Aoba47 (talk) 13:47, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks! I already managed it by asking people offwiki 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 23:34, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- It has opening quotation mark "gazing through, with, and at her as a woman—or as a practiced feminine gazer." But, I Attempted to reword the next sentence and also waiting for the copyguild to potentially copyedit it. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- I would be mindful of using longer quotes, particularly in the "Reception" section.
- Removed 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
I wish you the best of luck with the FAC. Apologies again for not being able to help fully with this peer review and the future nomination. I still have concerns with the article's prose, but it is up to you on whether or not to go for a FAC now. Hopefully, you will get helpful comments at that stage. Also, for future reference, do not collapse or edit other people's comments or reviews. I do not have an issue with it here, but other editors may have a more negative reaction. Leave it to the editor if they want to collapse their comments or not. Anyway, I hope you are having a good start to your week. Aoba47 (talk) 23:46, 15 July 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you! I guess you're right there may still have problems with prose; so I'll gonna hold on for a while. Regards. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 23:53, 15 July 2024 (UTC)
- It is entirely your choice. This peer review is still quite new so I think it would be beneficial to get more feedback here, but again, it is really up to you. Aoba47 (talk) 00:11, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Nono. It's fine. I can wait for a while. I don't want it to end up like Raichu's. So yeah, thanks for your concerns because it would be disaster when I actually send it hehe. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 01:23, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- It is entirely your choice. This peer review is still quite new so I think it would be beneficial to get more feedback here, but again, it is really up to you. Aoba47 (talk) 00:11, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
Comments from Fritzmann2002
[edit]- Tense in the second paragraph of Concept and design jumps quite a bit from present to past. Further, it confuses in-game aspects with out of game design. I recommend splitting it into two paragraphs, with one having statements like "Ada was given a red dress and high heels" (out of game) and another having statements like "She is hired to steal a sample of the G-virus..." (in game).
- Unfortunately, I don't what I should do here. I feel like after splitting, other paragraph will be very flimsy. (Two people above was already confused with it and they suggested to be like this. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- Perhaps also, her relationship with Leon could be split into its own paragraph. While I understand the game-flow chronology, it does feel weird to jump between character design and plot elements mid-paragraph and sentence to sentence.
- Same with my comment above. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- "In "Separate Ways" downloadable content (DLC)" --> in the downloadable content (DLC) "Separate Ways"...
- Done 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- Perhaps "...upon completion of those of Leon, Chris Redfield, and Jake Muller." Just a slight rephrasing, not necessary if you aren't a fan.
- I'm not sure I understand what "contrasting Claire Redfield's role" means. *"including the browser-based social game Onimusha Soul (2013) with a feudal Japan–inspired design" implies the game has a feudal Japan design, rather than Ada Wong.
- Contrast like They added her as a protagonist in Damnation since it already happened at other Resident Evil starring Claire. Also, removed the Japan inspired designs thing as suggested. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- "In 2023, she also appeared in two mobile games" perhaps mention this was part of crossover events? This makes it sound like they are Resident Evil games, which is doesn't look like they are.
- Done 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- "The Guardian journalists have praised"
- Done 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
- "criticized Ada's outfit as too revealing" is this specifically the one from 4? This second paragraph might be able to be split, with one of them just being on that topic and the other on wider male gaze discussions, rather than melding those two topics.
- I've splitted the two sentences into their own paragraph since those 3 are the ones that don't talk about the male gaze. 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔)
I think that's everything I can find, overall a very well written article. Please note I have not gone through the previous reviews, so there may be some overlap. Ping me if this goes to FAC and I will be happy to give it another look if I am available. Fritzmann (message me) 19:58, 16 July 2024 (UTC)
- Hi Fritzmann. I have a problem with your first two concerns and two editors were already confused before they suggested this. When their relationship was talked about in Re2, jumping around in Re4 would be more confusing since the following sentences were going to talk about her design and we would be jumping around re2 to re4 again. Many thanks for reviewing; really appreciate it! 🍕Boneless Pizza!🍕 (🔔) 02:07, 17 July 2024 (UTC)