Wikipedia:Peer review/Acute limb ischaemia/archive1
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Hello!
I have, along with a few other undergraduate biology students, been assigned this Wikipedia stub for a class project. We're quite new to the Wikipedia world, and would love some help (especially from people much more qualified than ourselves). We seem to be having quite a lot of trouble actually finding information, so any advice would be very much appreciated!
Thank you very much!
AU Biology Undergraduate Students
Comments from Cryptic C62
[edit]Hi there! To those of you who have never edited Wikipedia before, welcome! Ya'll have done a pretty solid job of expanding the article, but there is definitely more room for improvement. Here are some pointers, of varying degrees of importance:
- In general, focus on writing paragraphs rather than lists. All of the lists in this article can (and should) be written as full sentences with more connecting details.
- I strongly recommend employing the citation templates, particularly {{cite journal}}. This will make your citations more consistent and easier to read. For example, a citation for Article #1 can be generated using:
{{cite journal | title = Acute Limb Ischemia | author = Walker, T. Gregory | journal = Techniques in Vascular and Interventional Radiology | volume = 12 | issue = 2 | date = June 2009 | pages = 117-129 | issn = 1089-2516 | doi = 10.1053/j.tvir.2009.08.005 | url = http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1089251609000316 }}
- which gives the following output:
Walker, T. Gregory (June 2009). "Acute Limb Ischemia". Techniques in Vascular and Interventional Radiology. 12 (2): 117–129. doi:10.1053/j.tvir.2009.08.005. ISSN 1089-2516.
- On a related note, I would try to make your reference names a bit more descriptive than just "Article #1". If the order in which the references are used changes, then the numbering will no longer be helpful.
- This article should have a History section and a Epidemiology section.
- The lead should only summarize information that is presented in the body of the article. Many editors (myself included) write the body of the article first, then pick important statements to repeat or rephrase in the lead.
- Whenever you do start working on the lead, note that the very first sentence is ambiguous: "Acute limb ischaemia occurs when there is an sudden lack of blood flow to a limb." Is ischaemia a condition caused by a sudden lack of blood flow? Or is it the lack of blood flow itself? It is very often the case that the first sentence is the only thing that the reader sees, so it needs to be especially clear.
Hope this helps! Feel free to leave a note here or on my talk page if you need clarification or more feedback. --Cryptic C62 · Talk 21:50, 2 May 2012 (UTC)