Wikipedia:Peer review/Aaron Rodgers/archive1

Aaron Rodgers

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've made the changes to the article that were requested in the last GA and wanted more advice before I put it up to GA.

Thanks, SKATER ^{Is Back} 04:46, 15 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Not looking too bad actually - am copyediting here and there. Casliber (talk · contribs) 16:12, 18 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Make the Touchdown celebration into paras, not isolated sentences.

Done--SKATER ^{Is Back} 19:09, 19 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Personal section looks odd - anything that can embellish section will improve look of article.

Overall, I think this is within striking distance of GA, so a nom now would have a reasonable chance of passing. You can also ask Malleus to take a look at prose. I am not too familiar with american football. Casliber (talk · contribs) 22:43, 20 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I can't really find much to put in the personal section. I thought you were familiar with American Football, you must of meant soccer on your peer review statement :p. Thanks for the review!--SKATER ^{Is Back} 03:06, 21 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Lead could easily sustain three paras per WP:LEAD.
Infobox captions needs no period.
Is there a good link for "interception rate" for the lead? Not all of our readers would understand what that means.
"Professionally, Rodgers is the NFL's all-time career... " could he be anything other than professional in the NFL?
Explain MVP before you abbreviate it.
"Edward Rodgers tossed a football with his sons Luke, Aaron and Jordan, and told them not to drink and party in college or else they would limit themselves in sports like he did. Aaron Rodgers took this advice to heart" I get what you're saying but this is hardly encyclopaedic writing.
Infobox has specific references for some but not all of the career highlights and awards. Looks odd to ref one or two but not all.
"Career NFL statistics as of Week 17, 2011" in the infobox. Sorry, as a newbie to these NFL bios, does that mean the last game he played? Is that made clear in the lead etc?
"Despite his record-setting statistics, " context. It's an entirely new section so where/what were these stats?
"5'10 (1.78 m)" is that using the {{convert}} template? Likewise for weight.
Please ensure all tables meet MOS:DTT for the purpose of screen readers. This means denoting rows and cols with scope parameters for accessibility.
"[37] [38]" would add these refs into the "All values from NFL Combine" note. And would make the table full size.
"did not believe that Rodgers' attitude could co-exist with him" not really, perhaps, "because of Rodgers' attitude, it would be difficult to..." or similar.
"In August 2005 Rodgers agreed to a reported five-year, $7.7 million deal that included $5.4 million in guaranteed money and had the potential to pay him as much as $24.5 million if all incentives and escalators were met.[41]" it may just be a loser Brit saying this, but I'd like to see more about the "incentives and escalators" (as far as I know, an escalator helps me get upstairs in a department store).
"3-48 loss. [32] " en-dash for score, remove space before ref.
"his game reps" pardon?
""as a starter.[63]His passing" space
"Awards and achievements" a lot of unreferenced claims.
Regular Season -> Regular season.
As Starter... ditto.
In refs, author names should be consistent, so First Last or Last, First.
WP:DASH should be applied to the ref titles.

The Rambling Man (talk) 17:56, 6 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]