Wikipedia:Peer review/2008 Malaysian Grand Prix/archive1

2008 Malaysian Grand Prix

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for April 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to develop it to at least GA status, and would like the opinions of fellow editors. I believe the article is half-way there, and input by more experienced editors would help me towards the GA goal.

Thanks, Cdhaptomos talk–contribs 12:16, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Comments from Apterygial (talk · contribs)

Really the best advice I can give is to go and model the article on other GP articles, particularly FAs. So to start off with, merge practice and qualifying, add a post-race section, drop the trivia section, cite the classification tables the more common way, and increase ref density. You are right, it is about half-way there, but the second half is always the hardest. :) I'm always here (though my talk page may be better) if you have any questions. Apterygial 12:32, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

I have cited the classification properly now. How do you mean "merge practice and qualifying"? What heading would I put it under? Cdhaptomos talk–contribs 13:27, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

The featured articles, e.g. 1995 Pacific Grand Prix, have them simply under the heading 'Practice and qualifying'. Schumi555 20:41, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Tee-hee... I'm tired today; thanks for pointing out what was staring me in the face :) Cdhaptomos talk–contribs 22:12, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Oh, I did it BTW. Cdhaptomos talk–contribs 22:12, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Peer review by Darth Newdar (talk · contribs)

Right, here are some things you need to do: scrap the notes section, if you think that the stats are good, you could fit them in under either the race or post-race heading, with a ref of course! You need a post-race section, I find that looking at the post-race press conference always throws up some useful quotes. The refs also need to more widely used.

Infobox A new thing on the infobox has recently been "discovered", which is a way of having a ref for the infobox. If you put this

^{|Details ref=}

Then put a ref after the equals sign you'll get a ref for the whole infobox.

Lead

• No refs should be put in the lead.
  • Done. Cdhaptomos talk–contribs 21:27, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
• In the lead it doesn't say how Kovalainen got to be third; this would be worth adding.
• Another thing that Apterygial has been doing is linking "Drivers' World Championship" to List of Formula One World Drivers' Champions, and "Constructors' World Championship" to List of Formula One World Constructors' Champions. Worth adding.
  • Done. Cdhaptomos talk–contribs 21:27, 21 April 2009 (UTC)

Background

• It would be worth adding some more here. If you look at the the background section on the Japan article, you'll see that some quotes are included, as well as what happened in the previous race.

Practice and Qualifying

• The following has been hammered out on the '08 GP articles:

The qualifying session on Saturday afternoon was split into three parts. The first part ran for 20 minutes, and cars that finished the session 16th or lower were eliminated from qualifying. The second part of qualifying lasted 15 minutes and eliminated cars that finished in positions 11 to 15. The final part of qualifying determined the positions from first to tenth, and decided pole position. Cars which failed to make the final session could refuel before the race, so ran lighter in those sessions. Cars which competed in the final session of qualifying were not allowed to refuel before the race, and as such carried more fuel than in the previous sessions.

Worth putting into this article.

• • Note it should be changed to reflect the rules for 22 cars, not 20. Apterygial 13:04, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
    • I took it out originally because I thought it was a bit too lengthy and obvious. If you wish, I'll stick it back in. Cdhaptomos talk–contribs 21:27, 21 April 2009 (UTC)

Race

• In general the race sections are most other articles are slightly longer.
• I was told while editing the German article that each team and driver should linked only once after the lead; in this article several teams are linked multiple times in the report section.
• "Hamilton pitted on lap 19 and the team had a problem getting his front right tyre off, forcing him to stop for almost twenty seconds, and in the process lose around twelve seconds to the Ferraris, meaning he came out behind Webber in 11th." "lose" should be "lost".
  • Done. Cdhaptomos talk–contribs 21:27, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
• "He would open up a lead of almost over four seconds in the next six laps." You can't say "almost over" here.
  • Done. Cdhaptomos talk–contribs 21:27, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
• You need to track Kovalainen's race in this section a lot more.

Hope this helps!

Darth Newdar (talk) 13:10, 21 April 2009 (UTC)

Thank you very much, Darth Newdar. I'll work on the more lengthy bits tomorrow. Cdhaptomos talk–contribs 21:27, 21 April 2009 (UTC)